Category: Campus

Campus, Featured

Lost 116 Pages Found at President Worthen’s Mar-a-Utah-Lake Residence

President Kevithen J. Worthen has been on the top of the FBI most wanted list for some time now. Reports tell the Alternate Universe that President Worthen is so desired by the FBI for his “swag” and “pizzazz”. Recently, the FBI has been looking into President Worthen after receiving a tip that his presidency might have been attained wrongly. “There has never been a man … Continue reading Lost 116 Pages Found at President Worthen’s Mar-a-Utah-Lake Residence

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Provo

BYU announces devotional/forum lineup for fall semester

Every Tuesday morning, students, faculty and staff head to the Marriott Center for the weekly Devotional or Forum address. BYU President Kevin J. Worthen and his wife Peggy kicked off the semester and will be followed by members of the leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, BYU employees and a range of industry leaders and thinkers. Entertainment assemblies celebrating the talent … Continue reading BYU announces devotional/forum lineup for fall semester

Cameron Frye
Campus, Featured, News, Sports

BYU Apologizes to Duke Volleyball Player with Coupon for Free Cougar Tail

BYU students, faculty, and fans were shocked this past weekend when a Duke volleyball player was repeatedly harassed and called a racial slur during a BYU women’s volleyball game. As one of the most diverse campuses in the state, where students have been heard saying things like, “I know a black person” and “I love Will Smith,” these actions seemed incongruent with BYU’s reputation. BYU … Continue reading BYU Apologizes to Duke Volleyball Player with Coupon for Free Cougar Tail

Carmen Sandeigo
Campus, Featured, News

Bombshell Survey Reveals that 80% of BYU’s Retention Rate is Attributed to Ice Cream Vending Machines

Brigham Young University’s annual campus climate survey reveals not-so-surprising data on retention rates. A question asked, “What is your primary reason for staying at BYU?” Among returning undergrads, 80% said it was because of ice cream in the vending machines. A follow-up question asked, “What are your other reasons for remaining at BYU? (Select all that apply).” Among those whose primary reason was ice cream, … Continue reading Bombshell Survey Reveals that 80% of BYU’s Retention Rate is Attributed to Ice Cream Vending Machines

Renesmee
Campus, Featured

Terminally Ill BYU Professor Arrested for Selling Caffeine to Students

When Dr. Jesse Black was diagnosed with athlete’s foot, he thought it was all over. His wife was pregnant, his son was preparing for college, and most importantly BYU football had a good recruiting class. “I had to find a way to stay alive,” Dr. Black told the Alternate Universe. Dr. Black was told he had a few short months to live due to his … Continue reading Terminally Ill BYU Professor Arrested for Selling Caffeine to Students

Bobby Zimmeruski