Category: Campus

Campus, News

BREAKING: Election Recount Names a Mint Brownie™ New BYUSA President

On March 3rd, BYU students had the chance to vote for next year’s student association president. After the votes were tallied, Ethan Baker was announced as the 2022-23 BYUSA president, with Brandyn Young as executive vice president. Ever since this announcement, however, a large number of disgruntled students have demanded a recount. The Alternate Universe was able to interview a student protesting outside of the … Continue reading BREAKING: Election Recount Names a Mint Brownie™ New BYUSA President

Carmen Sandeigo
Campus, Featured, News

Breaking: Man-Eating Cougar Spotted on Campus, Starves to Death

Dozens of aware students exhaled a sigh of relief this afternoon as BYU Police announced that a man-eating cougar roaming on campus has officially passed away due to starvation. Security officials initially reported the numerous cougar sightings late Thursday night last week. The reports detailed a young female cougar had strayed from Y Mountain and found her way to campus. Bizarrely, BYU Police confirmed the … Continue reading Breaking: Man-Eating Cougar Spotted on Campus, Starves to Death

Sue Sylvester
Campus

Student finally realizes we live in a simulation after “sus” NPC activity on campus

Keanu Jermichaelson, a senior at BYU majoring in Ancient Scripture, finally came to terms with his futile existence. As we are all well aware, we live in a simulation created by our technological overlords Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos. But surprisingly, there are only a select few remaining who have not accepted this. Jermichaelson was one of them. “I just started to notice that things … Continue reading Student finally realizes we live in a simulation after “sus” NPC activity on campus

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, News

The Daily Universe Awards The Alternate Universe “Best Provo Publication”

In a delightful but unsurprising turn of events, BYU’s own The Daily Universe has decided to crown The Alternate Universe “Best Provo Publication” of 2021. We, at The Alternate Universe, graciously accept this award and acknowledge the excellent taste of the journalists at The Daily Universe. During the award ceremony Jacleighn Hutchinson, a journalist at The Daily Universe, explained some of the rationale behind this … Continue reading The Daily Universe Awards The Alternate Universe “Best Provo Publication”

Sister Michael