Category: Campus

Campus, Featured, Uncategorized

Cannon Center to Install Actual Cannon

As efforts increase to prevent the spread of Coronavirus, BYU’s Cannon Center has taken a revolutionary approach to social distancing and public safety with the installation of a real cannon. Imported from England, the cannon will be loaded with food and fired at the hungry students. Kate Anderson, head manager of the Cannon Center, described the process of this new decision to The Alternate Universe … Continue reading Cannon Center to Install Actual Cannon

Sister Michael
Campus, Featured, Life

Chuck E. Cheese Buys BYU Duck Pond

Move over, Cosmo! There’s a new mascot in town! Chuck E. Cheese just bought the BYU duck bond for $5.8 million. In an effort to “revitalize” BYU’s campus, the company plans to build artificial islands with a miniature city complete with a full-sized Chuck E. Cheese’s building. BYU’s Board of Trustees eagerly approved the BYU duck pond remodel because there is nothing more that they … Continue reading Chuck E. Cheese Buys BYU Duck Pond

Renesmee
5 Things to Know, Campus

Five Books Banned at BYU

Library Collections Manager Susan Bradshaw gives her explanation of what makes these few novels “too scandalous” for the Harold B. Lee Library.  Bradshaw has even gone so far to censor notable alumna Stephanie Meyer, surely provoking inevitable riots on campus.  Twilight “The idea of vampires and other supernatural entities is already problematic, but Stephanie Myer crosses the line in her debut novel by making them … Continue reading Five Books Banned at BYU

Sue Sylvester
Campus

Students Unsure What to Call Professor

The fourth week of school brings midterms, a sense of routine, and some unexpected surprises. One of these came Monday morning when one professor decided to shake up his classroom by telling his students that they could call him by his first name, Peter. The Alternate Universe conducted a series of interviews to gauge their reactions. One sophomore student described her distress, “I don’t think … Continue reading Students Unsure What to Call Professor

Sister Michael
Campus, Featured

BYU Police employs military-grade solutions for jaywalkers and grass-walking students

I want you to close your eyes and think to yourself right now: What is the worst part about BYU? Come on, do it. I don’t see those eyes closed. There we go, nice job. You can open your eyes. What did you say was the worst part about BYU? Did you say the people? American Heritage? Economics with Professor Kearl? Not being able to … Continue reading BYU Police employs military-grade solutions for jaywalkers and grass-walking students

Bobby Zimmeruski