Although each of Utah’s cities would like to dispute this fact, we know that the best food in Utah is made in Provo. The best food in Provo is made on Cougar Boulevard, and the best food on Cougar Boulevard, some say, is made at Rancherito’s. The beloved Mexican restaurant received a surprise visit from finance major and formidable Yelp critic, Antjuan Igo. It was … Continue reading Provo Rancherito’s Receives Michelin Star
At the tender age of 14, Jayden faced grave temptation after ending his camp experience with not one, but seven crushes of the week. “I’m trying not to lust after the desires of my heart, but it’s so hard–all these girls are so desirable. My prepubescent brain is so conflicted,” stated Jayden Miller, who is the proud owner of exactly three chest hairs. Throughout the … Continue reading FSY Kid Seriously Considers Polygamy After Ending Week with Multiple COWS
A mystical, magical moment in BYU history, the Benson building will be renamed in the singer’s honor to celebrate his new album. Driving down I-15, there are several billboards advertising Benson Boone’s upcoming American Heart Tour. What drivers may not have noticed, however, is the fine print at the bottom of the billboard, which says, “BYU Benson Boone Building coming soon.” Just yesterday, BYU announced … Continue reading BYU Benson Building to be Renamed the “Benson Boone” Building
This morning, LDS Church Commissioner of Education, Clark Griswold Gilbert took the stage at BYU’s 2025 graduation ceremony to remind everyone he went to Harvard and then give the commencement address. In the address, Commissioner Gilbert reviewed all of the disruption that he’s innovated over his past four years in office before announcing that he will be the permanent commencement speaker at BYU graduations … Continue reading CES Headmaster Clark Gilbert Sorts Professors Into 4 Houses Based on Orthodoxy, Saves BYU
In the spirit of Reading Day, a handful of Helaman Halls residents have finally overcome their bibliophobia and learned to read and write. “I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am,” said Reed A. Booke, the 25th percent, unprompted. The fact remains that the majority of Helaman residents will not be participating in the campus-wide holiday. “That’s what the … Continue reading BREAKING: Helaman Halls Literacy Rates Reach Record High of 25%
