LDS Tools Reveals New $8 Verification Subscription Service

Following in fellow billionaire Elon Musk’s footsteps, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints decided to implement their own spin on Twitter’s new verification service: subscription-based verification on the popular app, LDS Tools. $8/month provides members with services such as filters and airbrushing options on their photos, date discounts every time a number is copied and texted from the app, and of course a … Continue reading LDS Tools Reveals New $8 Verification Subscription Service

Batman Retires After Learning From Missionaries that He Can See His Parents Again

When Elder John Bennett and Elder Ethan Howe were abducted by the Riddler, they weren’t worried. They had seen The Saratov Approach and knew that only good things happened to kidnapped missionaries. Like the good Mormon boys they were, they kneeled down and prayed for a miracle. The miracle they received wasn’t what they expected. Not an angel of heaven, but a Dark Knight. The … Continue reading Batman Retires After Learning From Missionaries that He Can See His Parents Again

“Thank Gosh-Darn It’s Sunday” Restaurant Opens at Cougareat, Only Open on Sunday

“Thank Gosh-Darn it’s Sunday.” That’s for sure. In a surprising turn of events, BYU announced a new edition to the four-star Michelin-rated Cougareat: “Thank Gosh-Darn it’s Sunday”. This spin-off of the somehow still-in-business “Thank G– It’s Friday” or TGI Friday’s, is set to open next month. TGIS will be the first restaurant of its kind and the seventh installment of the TGIF brand. Current locations … Continue reading “Thank Gosh-Darn It’s Sunday” Restaurant Opens at Cougareat, Only Open on Sunday

BYU Proposes ‘Subtle Changes’ to Y Mountain in New Rendering

Have you ever thought Y Mountain looked a bit bland? Like it was missing something? Maybe four gigantic stone carvings of the most influential LDS figures? Well then it seems stupid minds think alike, because BYU has proposed the stone faces of Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Donny Osmond, and hot Nephi to grace the mountain. Project manager Starling Painthuffer confirmed the proposed plans on November … Continue reading BYU Proposes ‘Subtle Changes’ to Y Mountain in New Rendering

On This Veterans Day, Many Former APs Are Claiming Veteran Status

Veterans Day is a time for us to reflect on the men and women who have sacrificed everything in the service of our country. This holiday however, many are demanding we remember those who sacrificed in the service of God’s kingdom. Dozens of former APs are claiming veteran status, and demanding recognition for their service on the mission field. Ethan Howe is one such man. … Continue reading On This Veterans Day, Many Former APs Are Claiming Veteran Status