Category: Featured

Featured, Life, News

“The Virgin Mariah Carey” to Star in Church’s New Musical Nativity

Two years ago, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints wowed audiences with the release of “The Christ Child”, a historically accurate telling of Jesus’ nativity. This year, in place of historical accuracy, the new nativity will aim for musical splendor. To be released on the 24th of December, the nativity will star Mariah Carey as “the Virgin Mariah”. Since Mariah’s fame skyrockets (and … Continue reading “The Virgin Mariah Carey” to Star in Church’s New Musical Nativity

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Featured

Student wakes up just in time for finals after hitting snooze button on first day of classes

We all fall victim to the notorious snooze bottom every once and awhile. Some of us, a little too often. One student decided to press his luck a little too far. On the first day of classes, Denzel Von Shrouttenbottom was woken up abruptly for his 7:00 am yoga class by his alarm. The sweet sound of “Welcome to the Black Parade” by My Chemical … Continue reading Student wakes up just in time for finals after hitting snooze button on first day of classes

Bobby Zimmeruski
Featured, News

MTC Now Offering New, Entertainment-Based Curriculum

Last week, the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah announced a change in curriculum. From now on, new missionaries will receive assignments to watch popular TV shows in their mission languages. This initiative aims to eliminate the awkward struggle of trying to talk colloquially after learning from the Book of Mormon’s archaic vocabulary. New missionaries weigh in: “I have an assignment to watch Erased, but … Continue reading MTC Now Offering New, Entertainment-Based Curriculum

Renesmee
Campus, Featured

Student Dies of Embarrassment After Accidentally Playing Song Aloud for 3 seconds in Quiet Part of Library

When you lose someone you love, you gain an angel that you know. “If it had been anywhere else in the library, things might have turned out different. However, lamenting about what could have been won’t bring Chase back home to his family for Thanksgiving,” says Officer Simmons on the scene of the tragedy. Things were quiet late Friday afternoon in the reading room on … Continue reading Student Dies of Embarrassment After Accidentally Playing Song Aloud for 3 seconds in Quiet Part of Library

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Featured

Local BYU Simps Create First Ever Fraternity, fittingly named “Beta Beta Beta”

Historically, Fraternities and Sororities are not something that BYU gladly accepts at their school. But the minute you get some approval-seeking males involved, you’ve caught their attention. For the first time in the school’s history, BYU is allowing a fraternity to be officially recognized as a legitimate organization. But trust us, this is not your typical degenerate fraternity. “Beta Beta Beta” is a fraternity focused … Continue reading Local BYU Simps Create First Ever Fraternity, fittingly named “Beta Beta Beta”

Bobby Zimmeruski1 Comment