Batman Retires After Learning From Missionaries that He Can See His Parents Again

When Elder John Bennett and Elder Ethan Howe were abducted by the Riddler, they weren’t worried. They had seen The Saratov Approach and knew that only good things happened to kidnapped missionaries. Like the good Mormon boys they were, they kneeled down and prayed for a miracle. The miracle they received wasn’t what they expected. Not an angel of heaven, but a Dark Knight. The … Continue reading Batman Retires After Learning From Missionaries that He Can See His Parents Again

Macho Man Randy SavageNovember 17, 2022November 17, 2022

Life, Provo

Cosmo the Cougar to Start Teaching Classes at Provo Rec Center

It was announced today that Cosmo the Cougar will begin teaching classes at the Provo Recreation Center this month. Konnie McCaren, director of the Rec Center said that, “The negotiations were very drawn out, but we finally met his demands because the opportunity was too good to pass up. Cosmo will bring the exact energy we love here at the Rec Center.” The Rec Center … Continue reading Cosmo the Cougar to Start Teaching Classes at Provo Rec Center

Cameron FryeNovember 12, 2022November 12, 2022

Campus, Featured, Life, News

On This Veterans Day, Many Former APs Are Claiming Veteran Status

Veterans Day is a time for us to reflect on the men and women who have sacrificed everything in the service of our country. This holiday however, many are demanding we remember those who sacrificed in the service of God’s kingdom. Dozens of former APs are claiming veteran status, and demanding recognition for their service on the mission field. Ethan Howe is one such man. … Continue reading On This Veterans Day, Many Former APs Are Claiming Veteran Status

Macho Man Randy SavageNovember 10, 2022November 11, 2022

Life, Provo

Hidden Pro-Cannibalism Message Found by Playing FSY Album Backwards

Everyone loves hearing the youth sing the FSY medley. But this year, their song might be one not of praise, but of carnage. Janice Censordoll, a Provo Relief Society President, has found shocking pro-cannibalism messages hidden in this year’s FSY album. It all started while Censordoll was playing the new FSY album on her turntable. “I buy all church music on vinyl,” she said, “I … Continue reading Hidden Pro-Cannibalism Message Found by Playing FSY Album Backwards

Macho Man Randy SavageNovember 8, 2022November 8, 2022

Life, Provo

Top Five Hot Tubs in Provo

The unique culture of Provo Utah seems especially accentuated in the various hot tubs around the city. Our tub team at the Alternate Universe conducted extensive research to properly the top 5 hot tubs Provo has to offer. 5. Glenwood From high schoolers to super seniors, the Glenwood hot tub delivers an iconic blend of personalities that are sure to remind you why Provo is … Continue reading Top Five Hot Tubs in Provo