On the heels of this week’s snowfall, God has officially announced that spring will be cancelled in the state of Utah for the year 2022. “We won’t see consistent warm temperatures until we hit summer in late May.” said a source close to the Creator of the Universe “We’re thinking things will be in the mid to low 40’s until we crank it straight into … Continue reading God Announces Spring is Cancelled in Utah
Summer is just around the corner! Or how we like to say it: it’s almost Lake Powell season! Have you ever questioned your validity as a human being because you haven’t been invited? Are you starting to think this place is just made up by hot people on Instagram to intimidate the world? Don’t worry. We asked the hottest people with houseboats what qualifies an … Continue reading Five Reasons You’re Not Getting Invited to Lake Powell This Summer
Netflix just announced on Monday their plans for the upcoming documentary, Funeral Potatoes among the Mormons, set to come out Easter 2022. Though heavily upbeat, this documentary highlights the darkest part about Utah Mormon culture–the jello salad. Every Easter, someone still brings it. Someone else, however, brings hope to the table. Funeral potatoes are the highlight of everyone’s year. They are absolutely glorious, the way … Continue reading Netflix Announces New Documentary “Funeral Potatoes among the Mormons”
BYU’s “Rainbow Day” came to a grand conclusion last Thursday with a rainbow lit ‘Y’ in support of LGBTQ+ students…or did it? After facing heavy criticism online for their initial response, University Communications is now attempting to reframe the purpose behind the recent ‘Y’ lighting. The Alternate Universe was fortunate enough to bully a BYU social media intern into leaking a few of the University’s … Continue reading BYU Struggles to Spin Recent Y Lighting
In an effort to increase representation and inclusion, Brigham Young University invites students to meet Cosma, a female version of the beloved mascot with a strong- but meek- message of female empowerment. “Her talents, homemaking, virtue, meekness, and power to bear symbolize BYU standards,” explained Ed Bennett, BYU’s Director of Marketing and known male. “No, like Cosmo, she won’t speak- that’d be absurd. But she … Continue reading BYU Observes International Women’s Day by Introducing Cosma, the Female Cougar
