Upon Success of Provo Bachelor, BYU Students Begin Production on Provo Survivor, Provo Duck Dynasty, and Provo Hoarders

After the mega-hit Provo’s Most Eligible, also known as The Bachelor of Provo, producers have green-lit several Provo themed series including but not limited to “Provo Survivor,” “Provo Duck Dynasty,” and “Provo Hoarders.” . “Yeah, we have no problem stealing intellectual property or propagating harmful ideals such as those presented in the real version of The Bachelor, as long as we’re celebrating the unique culture … Continue reading Upon Success of Provo Bachelor, BYU Students Begin Production on Provo Survivor, Provo Duck Dynasty, and Provo Hoarders

BYU Students to Participate in ‘The Purge’ Following the Decertification of BYU Police

After legal action resulted in BYU Police losing the ability to make arrests and investigate crimes starting September 1st 2019, BYU students plan on holding an event they’re calling “The Purge” on September 2nd. “We’re just basically going to do what we want. The men will grow beards, the women will wear leggings, and we’ll stay out till 12:30 AM instead of midnight.” said Student … Continue reading BYU Students to Participate in ‘The Purge’ Following the Decertification of BYU Police

BYU Theater Department to Perform Censored Version of “The Book of Mormon” Musical

The BYU Department of Theater and Media Arts announced that it will be producing an adapted version of South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s hit musical “The Book of Mormon.” “We’re really looking forward to showing BYU students the musical,” said student director and theatre major Sarah Andrews. “My parents saw it on Broadway and walked out after the first 15 minutes, but … Continue reading BYU Theater Department to Perform Censored Version of “The Book of Mormon” Musical

Local Student Confident He Will Recognize Correct Answer if Ballot is Multiple Choice

Tired of cramming for today’s midterm elections, local BYU student Michael Kap is calling it quits, confident that if the ballot is multiple choice he’ll recognize the correct answer right away when he sees it in the voting booth. “If there’s just going to be a series of bubbles and all the potential answers are listed next to them, I’m honestly not too worried about … Continue reading Local Student Confident He Will Recognize Correct Answer if Ballot is Multiple Choice

Unhinged Sitake Aggressively Prepares for Boise State Game by Dropping Off Resume at Every Taco Bell in Utah

Following another disappointing loss, head coach Kalani Sitake is aggressively preparing for the football team’s next game against Boise State by actively applying for open positions at every Taco Bell across Utah. “I think we have a real chance against Boise State, but it will be a challenge.” Sitake expressed disinterestedly while scrolling through Taco Bell’s “Careers” webpage, “They’ve got a powerful company culture and … Continue reading Unhinged Sitake Aggressively Prepares for Boise State Game by Dropping Off Resume at Every Taco Bell in Utah