Category: News

Campus, News

MARB Steam Revealed to Be From Underground Sweat Shop

What is that mysterious steam coming from the Marb basement? It’s always there, and countless students hold their breath while passing to prevent whatever it is from entering their airways. Fed up with not knowing, our investigative journalists (including myself) took a look at what is underneath, and the results may shock you. The first thing we saw as we entered the room were aisles … Continue reading MARB Steam Revealed to Be From Underground Sweat Shop

Renesmee
5 Things to Know, News

Five Things To Know About the Midterm Elections

Once again, we have reached the season of midterm elections. Utah has the chance to decide who will represent them in the Senate and House of Representatives. There are many issues on the table. Inflation, crime, the environment, education, and civil rights are all on the table. Is our democracy and civilization on the brink of destruction? Yes. Here’s five things you need to know. … Continue reading Five Things To Know About the Midterm Elections

Macho Man Randy Savage
Campus, Life, News, Sports

BYU Unveils New CougarTail, Tastes of Bitter Disappointment

For students and alumni of Brigham Young University, nothing says school spirit quite like shoving an eight-foot-long treat of sugar and dough down your gullet. The iconic maple-glazed donut known as the CougarTail has been a staple of Cougar Sports for years, whether enjoyed among friends or eaten solo over the slow course of a multi-hour game. For centuries this delectable dessert has been only … Continue reading BYU Unveils New CougarTail, Tastes of Bitter Disappointment

George Beard
Featured, News, Uncategorized

Missionaries expand technology use to Omegle, Reddit, Tumblr, Discord, Yikyak, AskFM, Quora and Bumble BFF

With the arrival of Coronavirus upending the world in 2020, missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were forced to adapt to new ways to find and teach nonmembers. After some serious trial and error, the young Elders and Sisters have transformed Facebook from a social media platform for geezers into a platform for virtual teaching and finding. As the majority of … Continue reading Missionaries expand technology use to Omegle, Reddit, Tumblr, Discord, Yikyak, AskFM, Quora and Bumble BFF

George Beard
Featured, Life, News

Provo Rancheritos Undergoing Major Seismic Strengthening to Fortify Against Events of the Last Days

Provo residents were shocked to find that a favorite local Mexican cafe- Rancherito’s- closed its doors to customers last weekend. For many, this was a cause for panic. Riots broke out in the streets. Social media cried out in woe. Everyone united in the same thought: Why do bad things happen to good people? Thanks to some expert investigative journalism conducted by The Alternate Universe, … Continue reading Provo Rancheritos Undergoing Major Seismic Strengthening to Fortify Against Events of the Last Days

Lisa Simpson