Category: News

News

LDS Church to Help Fund Stimulus Package—By Sending All Eligible Citizens a Copy of The Pearl of Great Price

According to an announcement made earlier this week, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will be helping the United States government with the proposed stimulus bill.  The church will be helping by sending a free copy of the “Pearl of Great Price” to every citizen who is eligible to receive a stimulus check. Beau Bingham, a church spokesperson, said, “This is a great … Continue reading LDS Church to Help Fund Stimulus Package—By Sending All Eligible Citizens a Copy of The Pearl of Great Price

Albert Camus
News

LDS Church announces 30 New Books of Scripture Including ‘Spin-Offs’ of the Book of Mormon

The church announced 10 “spin-offs” from the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants, including the Book of Gidgiddoni, the Book of Benjamin, and the Doctrine of Martin Harris.  These books will overlap with the stories that they come from, but also explore the inner lives and adventures of these formerly minor “characters” in core LDS doctrine. Additionally, a remake of The Book of Moses … Continue reading LDS Church announces 30 New Books of Scripture Including ‘Spin-Offs’ of the Book of Mormon

Albert Camus
News

Escaped Monolith Apprehended, Safely Returned to Granite Mountain Vaults

The now infamous Utah Desert Monolith has finally been apprehended after its daring escape from the Church of Jesus Christ’s Granite Mountain Vaults last month. Although the monolith had evaded search parties for several weeks, a helicopter crew dispatched by the vaults eventually tracked it down to a remote desert rock formation. “We had it surrounded. Plastered its face all over the news.” says an … Continue reading Escaped Monolith Apprehended, Safely Returned to Granite Mountain Vaults

Warren Dusenberry
Campus, News

BYU Prepares to Add Surprise Rice Purity Test in Addition to COVID-19 Testing

University officials announced on Monday that BYU will begin student COVID-19 screening tests from Nov. 18 through Nov. 21. While the test will not be mandatory, BYU encouraged students who have not tested positive for the virus within the last 90 days to get tested. As luck would have it, that happens to be almost every single student on campus. As a result, BYU and … Continue reading BYU Prepares to Add Surprise Rice Purity Test in Addition to COVID-19 Testing

Sue Sylvester
News

Salt Lake City Police Confused About Influx Of Cougar Sightings

The Salt Lake City Police Department reported a major influx of calls in relation to cougar sightings on November 11th. The Park City police also reported similar numbers. “All of the calls wanted us to check the hottest bars, parties, and botox clinics. Our officers really aren’t sure what to do when we get there,” said Animal Control Officer Chuck Haws. After thorough investigation, it … Continue reading Salt Lake City Police Confused About Influx Of Cougar Sightings

Liz Lemon