Category: News

Campus, News

BYU Prepares to Add Surprise Rice Purity Test in Addition to COVID-19 Testing

University officials announced on Monday that BYU will begin student COVID-19 screening tests from Nov. 18 through Nov. 21. While the test will not be mandatory, BYU encouraged students who have not tested positive for the virus within the last 90 days to get tested. As luck would have it, that happens to be almost every single student on campus. As a result, BYU and … Continue reading BYU Prepares to Add Surprise Rice Purity Test in Addition to COVID-19 Testing

Sue Sylvester
News

Salt Lake City Police Confused About Influx Of Cougar Sightings

The Salt Lake City Police Department reported a major influx of calls in relation to cougar sightings on November 11th. The Park City police also reported similar numbers. “All of the calls wanted us to check the hottest bars, parties, and botox clinics. Our officers really aren’t sure what to do when we get there,” said Animal Control Officer Chuck Haws. After thorough investigation, it … Continue reading Salt Lake City Police Confused About Influx Of Cougar Sightings

Liz Lemon
News

Spirit of Alex Trebek Spotted Waiting for Ken Jennings in Seattle Temple Baptistry

Brother Lee was mopping the floor of the Seattle Temple baptistry when he saw a glowing silhouette stir near the font. The spirit of beloved Jeopardy host Alex Trebek was allegedly waiting in the temple, eager for a certain Church member to come do his ordinance work. “I was just fulfilling my weekly temple duties when Trebek appeared out of nowhere.” Says Lee, “He looked … Continue reading Spirit of Alex Trebek Spotted Waiting for Ken Jennings in Seattle Temple Baptistry

Warren Dusenberry1 Comment
Life, News

Recent BYU Couple Already Engaged Within Timeline of Election Results

The slow pace of this year’s election count is fueling a lot of criticism, as millions of Americans wait to find out who will become the next president of the United States. Unlike certain other neighboring states that move at the pace of an orangutan with ankle weights, Utah provided a swift conclusion to their election results. And just as swiftly, yet another Utah couple … Continue reading Recent BYU Couple Already Engaged Within Timeline of Election Results

Sue Sylvester
News

Amidst a slow week, BYU vs. Boise State definitely the biggest event

America seems to be in a bit of a dry spell when it comes to news. Not much has happened all week and reporters (ours especially) are becoming antsier by the day. They have been searching for new stories and coming up dry. It is highly implausible to have no news, but the country is shocked at the complete lack of it. However, tonight we … Continue reading Amidst a slow week, BYU vs. Boise State definitely the biggest event

Cameron Frye