New missionary to hand out 100 million copies of the Book of Mormon in first 100 days in the field

Elder Matt Matthews of Orem, Utah has recently been assigned to serve in the Washington DC North Mission. Matthews held a press conference to announce his plan for his first 100 days in the mission field. His loftiest goal is to hand out 100 million copies of the Book of Mormon. Matthews believes that every citizen within his stewardship should have free access to the … Continue reading New missionary to hand out 100 million copies of the Book of Mormon in first 100 days in the field

Trump Pardons U of U Mascot On Last Day in Office, Swoop Officially Released Into the Wild

In a flurry of activity Tuesday afternoon, President Trump issued several pardons as his term came to an end. Among those pardoned was the University of Utah mascot, Swoop. A spokesperson for the President stated “The President sees Swoop as a national hero and thinks it a travesty that Swoop has been dealt such a great injustice by the corrupt deep state.” Swoop has been … Continue reading Trump Pardons U of U Mascot On Last Day in Office, Swoop Officially Released Into the Wild

Wilkinson Center Piano Player Excited to WOW Large Audience of In-Line COVID-19 Testers

As the winter semester begins, so does mandatory COVID-19 testing for all BYU students. While most are dragging their feet to get tested, not all view the requirement as irritating. This is a moment in time packed with opportunity for Justin Wilks, self-taught musician based in the Wilkinson Center who specializes in piano performance. Wilks explained that since COVID has decreased traffic in the student … Continue reading Wilkinson Center Piano Player Excited to WOW Large Audience of In-Line COVID-19 Testers

Trump’s Mutual Account Permanently Suspended

Some of the biggest names in tech have recently taken steps against the online presence of the Donald Trump. Twitter, Facebook, and now Mutual have removed the President from their platform following last week’s attack on the U.S. Capital. And while many anticipated this move from major social media sites, no one expected the LDS dating app to throw its hat in the ring- and … Continue reading Trump’s Mutual Account Permanently Suspended

Mitt Romney Fights Off MAGA Mob with Donkey’s Jawbone

As members of a pro-Trump mob laid siege to the United States Capitol on Wednesday, most elected officials were quickly evacuated to safety. Mitt Romney of Utah chose to stay behind in what observers called “an almost suicidal effort to hold back the mob.” According to eye-witnesses, Senator Romney removed his shirt before grabbing what appeared to be a donkey’s jawbone from his desk. Romney … Continue reading Mitt Romney Fights Off MAGA Mob with Donkey’s Jawbone