Some of the biggest names in tech have recently taken steps against the online presence of the Donald Trump. Twitter, Facebook, and now Mutual have removed the President from their platform following last week’s attack on the U.S. Capital. And while many anticipated this move from major social media sites, no one expected the LDS dating app to throw its hat in the ring- and … Continue reading Trump’s Mutual Account Permanently Suspended
As members of a pro-Trump mob laid siege to the United States Capitol on Wednesday, most elected officials were quickly evacuated to safety. Mitt Romney of Utah chose to stay behind in what observers called “an almost suicidal effort to hold back the mob.” According to eye-witnesses, Senator Romney removed his shirt before grabbing what appeared to be a donkey’s jawbone from his desk. Romney … Continue reading Mitt Romney Fights Off MAGA Mob with Donkey’s Jawbone
According to an announcement made earlier this week, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will be helping the United States government with the proposed stimulus bill. The church will be helping by sending a free copy of the “Pearl of Great Price” to every citizen who is eligible to receive a stimulus check. Beau Bingham, a church spokesperson, said, “This is a great … Continue reading LDS Church to Help Fund Stimulus Package—By Sending All Eligible Citizens a Copy of The Pearl of Great Price
The church announced 10 “spin-offs” from the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants, including the Book of Gidgiddoni, the Book of Benjamin, and the Doctrine of Martin Harris. These books will overlap with the stories that they come from, but also explore the inner lives and adventures of these formerly minor “characters” in core LDS doctrine. Additionally, a remake of The Book of Moses … Continue reading LDS Church announces 30 New Books of Scripture Including ‘Spin-Offs’ of the Book of Mormon
The now infamous Utah Desert Monolith has finally been apprehended after its daring escape from the Church of Jesus Christ’s Granite Mountain Vaults last month. Although the monolith had evaded search parties for several weeks, a helicopter crew dispatched by the vaults eventually tracked it down to a remote desert rock formation. “We had it surrounded. Plastered its face all over the news.” says an … Continue reading Escaped Monolith Apprehended, Safely Returned to Granite Mountain Vaults
