According to an internal memo from BYU’s administration (acquired by the Alternate Universe’s Advanced Intelligence Division), it appears that BYU will hire actual programmers to continue development on Learning Suite and the BYU store website. Previously, in an effort to cut costs, BYU web development was managed by a team of chimpanzees given intelligence enhancing drugs by the BYU biology department. The experiment proved a … Continue reading BREAKING: BYU to Fire Chimpanzees, Hire Actual Programmers to Develop Learning Suite and BYU Store Website

His Holiness Pope Francis made a splash on Monday morning wearing a BYU basketball jersey while attending to his duties in the Vatican. This was the result of a friendly wager between His Holiness and President Russell Nelson of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “It’s been tradition for a number of years now.” said Pope Francis “Whenever the Zags play BYU Russ … Continue reading Pope Loses Wager With President Nelson Over Gonzaga Game, Wears BYU Jersey to Work

Hoping to turn around dire financial conditions in the organization, the Boy Scouts of America have announced a huge sale on all uniform patches. The awards, traditionally given to youth in recognition of their scouting achievements, are now available to all, and for 75% off. “Has it been strange selling discounted eagle scout awards to random people? Yes. But, a scout is thrifty.” says Boy … Continue reading Boy Scouts Organize Massive Merit Badge Patch ‘Blow Out Sale’ to Avoid Bankruptcy