Even after Liberty Square management made parking spaces as small as possible – going so far as to hire physicists to ensure accuracy within the Planck Scale – it appears Provo’s widespread parking crisis has yet to be solved. After a series of escalating events, the Center for Disease Control had no choice but to declare a State of Emergency after anthrax was used in … Continue reading CDC Declares Liberty Square in State of Emergency after Chemical Weapons Used in Parking Dispute

This week, Disney announced its newest addition to the iconic Disney Princess™ lineup: a pioneer princess. The rumored title, Plains, continues in the one-word-title pattern seen in basically every Disney film from the last decade, with a story that follows a young pioneer girl crossing the great plains. Buzzing from Disney’s development team during our interview with their crew perfectly encapsulated their feelings towards the … Continue reading New ‘Pioneer Princess’ to Join Official Disney Princess Roster; Utah Activists Praise as ‘Victory’ for Representation

In a move that surprised many, Provo news institution The Alternate Universe accepted a corporate advertising deal from a local company named DollarProbs effective Saturday, January 26th, 2020. “DollarProbs is a Provo-Orem area based company that helps people find gigs that match their skill set.” says Alternate Universe founder Stephen “DollarProbs” Fortuna “We are excited to partner with DollarProbs and we look forward to a … Continue reading Alternate Universe Sells Out, Accepts Sponsorship Money From DollarProbs.com

After the success of the BYU AirPods Pro released in late 2019, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints took notice and announced Wednesday that they have partnered with Apple to create a rose gold edition of The Book of Mormon, available for a limited time. “We’re really excited to announce this joint venture with Apple,” said Dwayne Killian, director of Book of Mormon … Continue reading Church Drops Rose Gold Edition of Book of Mormon, Readership Expected to Soar