Category: News

Campus, News

Ten Million Free Donuts Make Cougar Cash World’s Hottest Crypto Currency Overnight

When tasked with convincing students to invest in Cougar Cash not long ago, a team of distinguished BYU staff and faculty waged the entirety of their allocated budget on one wild gamble: 10,576,744 completely unimpressive, unashamedly store-bought, underwhelmingly-glazed donuts. After donating a few of their lunch breaks, putting on ties, setting up a simple table in the WILK and giving out over ten million cheap … Continue reading Ten Million Free Donuts Make Cougar Cash World’s Hottest Crypto Currency Overnight

Warren Dusenberry
News

“It’s Either Colbie or Me” – Desperate Archuleta Urges Nation to Text In Votes During BYU Spectacular

Less than 24 hours away from the kick off of BYU’s Homecoming Spectacular Concert, American Idol runner-up David Archuleta is pleading with fans throughout the country to text in their votes during the celebration. David, still tormented by his second place finish 10 years ago, is determined to finally earn the title of American Idol in a concert featuring both he and Grammy award-winning, multiplatinum-selling … Continue reading “It’s Either Colbie or Me” – Desperate Archuleta Urges Nation to Text In Votes During BYU Spectacular

Warren Dusenberry1 Comment
Campus, General Conference, News

BYU Temple Strong Among Conference Rumors

With the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints’ semi-annual General Conference just a few days away, very “credible sources” across the church have been hinting at some of the biggest changes to be announced. The possibility of a BYU Temple continues to stand out as one of the more reliable leaks. Thanks to the speculative social media posts of friends of people who are … Continue reading BYU Temple Strong Among Conference Rumors

Warren Dusenberry
News, Sports

Breaking: Cosmo Will Continue Performing Despite Loss of Head

BYU’s beloved mascot Cosmo the Cougar scared football fans for life last Saturday when, mid-flip, the iconic feline’s giant head became completely detached from his body and was horrifyingly launched onto the field. (Warning: graphic content. Video can be watched here.) Down-trodden but not defeated, an upbeat Cosmo appeared at a university press conference Monday and unequivocally affirmed his plans to continue performing this season – … Continue reading Breaking: Cosmo Will Continue Performing Despite Loss of Head

Warren Dusenberry
News

University of Utah Grads Resign from Fire Department as Wildfires Approach BYU

With pre-evacuation zones inching forward to within just a mile of many BYU students’ place of residence, a dozen graduates from the University of Utah parted ways with Provo Fire Department yesterday, citing the prospect of having to defend the campus of BYU from wildfires as a “major moral dilemma.” “It’s not that we want anyone at BYU to get hurt, per se.” says Jerry … Continue reading University of Utah Grads Resign from Fire Department as Wildfires Approach BYU

Warren Dusenberry1 Comment