BYU President Kevin Worthen, having spent his holiday break exclusively in solitude atop Y-mountain returned this Tuesday to the rowdy crowds awaiting his traditional first devotional to open the new semester. Many are still in shock at his dramatic announcement that animal sacrifice as described in the Old Testament will be taking the place of BYU’s current honor code. The devotional itself got off to … Continue reading Shining Bearded President Worthen Announces Animal Sacrifice to Replace Honor Code

With the Provo Missionary Training Center’s expansion well under way and slated for completion later this year, there’s still one thing about one of the structure’s designs that has been raising eyebrows. A curious dome installed on the outcropping first floor of the smaller of the two new buildings has got people asking questions. Based on insider information provided by a rogue construction worker who … Continue reading MTC Successfully Installs Death-Star Laser, Newest Bargaining Chip in Missionary Efforts