Category: Sports

News, Sports

Army Seeks to Avoid Biggest Loss Since Little Bighorn, Cancels BYU Game

In an apparent effort to avoid nationally broadcast humiliation, the Army has cancelled their upcoming football game against BYU. According to “official” sources the cancellation is due to concerns over BYU’s handling of COVID-19 cases and reporting. According to smart people who know when they’re being lied to the cancellation is due to the fact that BYU is clearly the greatest college football team ever … Continue reading Army Seeks to Avoid Biggest Loss Since Little Bighorn, Cancels BYU Game

Donald Cherry
Sports

BYU to Take Custody of Nation’s Aircraft Carriers, Battleships

After several days of heated deliberation, officials in Washington have decided to replace the United States Navy with the BYU football team. This comes on the heels of the 55-3 drubbing BYU dished out on national television on Monday. When asked, Grand Admiral Kevin Worthen seemed optimistic about this development saying ” This is a great opportunity for BYU to expand our control beyond Utah … Continue reading BYU to Take Custody of Nation’s Aircraft Carriers, Battleships

Donald Cherry
Sports

BYU Football Team to Join Pop Warner Little League for 2020 Season

BYU Athletic Director Tom Holmoe announced today that BYU will be playing a full fall football schedule against a collection of Pop Warner Little League teams from Utah Valley. “It seems that the most important thing is that the team plays a full season and we see a good opportunity to do so by making a change in our schedule for the upcoming year.” said … Continue reading BYU Football Team to Join Pop Warner Little League for 2020 Season

Donald Cherry
Sports

Highland Stake to Hold Church Ball Tournament in Giant Bubble

The Highland Utah stake announced plans today to hold their annual stake basketball tournament in a self-contained bubble. Their season was suspended in March when states began to issue stay-at-home orders. Stake athletic director Mark Kimball expressed his excitement over the news: “Church ball is one of the defining aspects of our culture. It’s part of what sets us apart from the world. I was … Continue reading Highland Stake to Hold Church Ball Tournament in Giant Bubble

Warren Dusenberry
Campus, Sports

BYU Announces Online Intramurals For Fall Semester

BYU has announced that fall intramurals will be entirely online. President Kevin Worthen said, “We want our students to work hard and play hard. For many, intramurals are life. While our students may not be able to ball out on the court, they can still ball out in life. ” Intramurals will be held across many platforms with all competitions available for streaming on Twitch … Continue reading BYU Announces Online Intramurals For Fall Semester

Cameron Frye