Category: Sports

Sports

BYU Hires Florida Man Expert to Prep for USF Game

In preparation for Saturday’s game against the University of South Florida, BYU has enlisted the help of noted Florida Man researcher Dr. Phoebe Watts. With only one player on the roster from the state of Florida, the Cougars looked to Dr. Watts to help them be mentally ready for the challenges they could face. “It’s natural for people with little experience living around Florida Men … Continue reading BYU Hires Florida Man Expert to Prep for USF Game

Donald Cherry
News, Sports

BREAKING: BYU Cancels Fall Semester Following Holy War Loss

BYU President Kevin Worthen made a startling announcement early Friday morning, cancelling all classes previously scheduled for the Fall 2019 semester due to BYU’s 30-12 loss to the University of Utah. “We feel that our students and faculty need time to move through all stages of grief before we can seriously consider getting back to their studies.” says Worthen, “We’re trying to be sensitive to … Continue reading BREAKING: BYU Cancels Fall Semester Following Holy War Loss

Donald Cherry1 Comment
Sports

BYU Coach Turns to Tithing to Beat the Utes

It’s been a difficult stretch for BYU football fans when it comes to their rivalry with the University of Utah. Eight straight losses to the team from up north have put a sour taste in the mouths of many Cougar fans. However, new hope may be on the rise with promising quarterback Zach Wilson and a bold new strategy from head coach Kalani Sitake. In … Continue reading BYU Coach Turns to Tithing to Beat the Utes

Donald Cherry
Sports

Intramural Heroes Looking Forward to Another Dominant Year in Rookie Divison

It’s been nearly four months since intramural basketball powerhouse “The Ball Chillers” claimed their second consecutive rookie division title, but team captain Chad Powell isn’t satisfied. “We played well last year, but going 13-1 just sort of left a bad taste in my mouth.” says Powell. The Chillers bid for two consecutive undefeated seasons was spoiled by an unexpected 45-42 loss to league bottom-dwellers “Eight … Continue reading Intramural Heroes Looking Forward to Another Dominant Year in Rookie Divison

Donald Cherry
Sports

BYU Hires UVU’s Pope After 99.9th Percentile March Madness Bracket

After a brief but rather unorthodox search process, former UVU Men’s Basketball Coach Mark Pope has been hired to be the new Men’s Basketball coach at cross-town rival BYU. “We look forward to seeing what Coach Pope can do to bring our program back into the limelight,” says BYU Athletic Director Tom Holmoe “after all, he did have a 99.9% percentile March Madness Bracket, so … Continue reading BYU Hires UVU’s Pope After 99.9th Percentile March Madness Bracket

Donald Cherry