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What to do on Game Days if You Didn’t Get a ROC Pass

You got screwed over. The BYU ticketing system failed you. Now you’re stuck in your apartment—alone, bitter, and friendless while the student section goes wild. Fortunately, we’ve compiled a list of things you can do instead. Paraglide Into the Stadium with Cosmo A 100% free, 100% foolproof way to sneak into the student section. Hold a Strike Outside LaVell Edwards Stadium Between the drumline, 3rd … Continue reading What to do on Game Days if You Didn’t Get a ROC Pass

Kim Possible
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Reese’s Sues President Shane Reese for Copyright Infringement

A whopping $1 million lawsuit was filed against the BYU President for having the audacity to use his last name.   Tensions have been high ever since a formal lawsuit was filed against Shane Reese last Friday for copyright infringement of the name “Reese.”  Nate Butters, the H.B, Reese Candy Company public relations representative, noted, “We were alerted to the situation as soon as we … Continue reading Reese’s Sues President Shane Reese for Copyright Infringement

Swedish Chef
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Secret Lives of Mormon Wives: We Asked Provo Wives for Secrets About Their Lives, and This Is What They Shared

In an anonymous survey conducted by our top writers, we at the Alternate Universe learned the real truth about life in Provo as a married woman. “I really wasn’t supposed to tell anyone this, but Quincee got a boob job. She claims it’s because she started working chest at VASA. I honestly think her husband doesn’t know either. She only told me because I told … Continue reading Secret Lives of Mormon Wives: We Asked Provo Wives for Secrets About Their Lives, and This Is What They Shared

Kayteigh Leigh
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How To Soft Launch That You’re a Liberal

Nothing is fun without a hint of mystery or suspense. Enter the soft launch — the not-quite-official, not-quite-secret strategy of introducing a new fact about yourself. With Pride month in full swing, here are some subtle ways to show your true colors. Wear a rainbow WWJD bracelet A subtle way to flaunt your political beliefs while also reprimanding small-minded haters. You are a follower of … Continue reading How To Soft Launch That You’re a Liberal

Kim Possible