Student Dies of Embarrassment After Accidentally Playing Song Aloud for 3 seconds in Quiet Part of Library

When you lose someone you love, you gain an angel that you know. “If it had been anywhere else in the library, things might have turned out different. However, lamenting about what could have been won’t bring Chase back home to his family for Thanksgiving,” says Officer Simmons on the scene of the tragedy. Things were quiet late Friday afternoon in the reading room on … Continue reading Student Dies of Embarrassment After Accidentally Playing Song Aloud for 3 seconds in Quiet Part of Library

Activists Demand BYU Put Socks on WILK Cosmo Statue

BYU faced criticism over the weekend when a student group drew attention to the barefoot statue of the famous cougar seated on a bench in the BYU store. The activists are demanding that the statue’s bare feet, which include intricately carved toes, be covered. “Look it would be one thing if it looked like the costume, but we are talking about human-like feet on display … Continue reading Activists Demand BYU Put Socks on WILK Cosmo Statue

Local BYU Simps Create First Ever Fraternity, fittingly named “Beta Beta Beta”

Historically, Fraternities and Sororities are not something that BYU gladly accepts at their school. But the minute you get some approval-seeking males involved, you’ve caught their attention. For the first time in the school’s history, BYU is allowing a fraternity to be officially recognized as a legitimate organization. But trust us, this is not your typical degenerate fraternity. “Beta Beta Beta” is a fraternity focused … Continue reading Local BYU Simps Create First Ever Fraternity, fittingly named “Beta Beta Beta”

David Archuleta releases ten-minute version of “Crush”

In 2008, David Archuleta finished second on the seventh season of American Idol. A few months later, Archuleta released his first single, “Crush.” Peaking at number 12 on the Billboard Hot 100, the single was a massive success. After a long wait, Archuleta released an extended ten-minute version of the song last week. Before “Crush” was cut down to a ten-minute version and then more … Continue reading David Archuleta releases ten-minute version of “Crush”

New Anti-Science Class Accommodates Students who Disagree with Science

Physical Science 100 ranks among the most hated classes offered at BYU. For some, it’s the long hours spent learning things that no normal person will ever need to know that makes the class excruciating. For others, the problem is being forced to learn fake science that contradicts their personal beliefs. In order to make BYU classes more inclusive, the Committee of Race, Equity and … Continue reading New Anti-Science Class Accommodates Students who Disagree with Science