In a shocking turn of events, AJ Dybantsa has forgone the NBA draft in favor of returning to BYU as a finance TA. Dybantsa posted the following on LinkedIn this morning: “My time at BYU is not done. NBA contracts might seem appealing, but I could make that money in a single summer selling pest control.” While many NBA fans mourn the decision, summer sales … Continue reading HE’S COMING HOME: AJ Dybantsa Returns To BYU As Finance TA
The criteria for assuming the role of BYU’s beloved mascot is no joke. Here’s what you would have to do, ranked from easiest to most difficult. Disarm a Bomb Fight an Cougar and Win Talk to a Woman Treat a Ute Fan With Respect Make a Fursona Be Between 5’9” and 6’ It’s a challenging job to fill, but fill it BYU must. … Continue reading Cosmo Tryout Requirements LEAKED! See What You’d Have to Do to Get This Coveted Role
As all eyes turn to the Big 12 basketball tournament that began today, the real March madness is taking place in a lawsuit filed by BYU against the Big 12. After 3 years of Big 12 membership, BYU officials have noted that the number used in the conference’s title is eerily similar to that of the quorum of the twelve apostles. Since the lawsuit was … Continue reading BYU Sues Big 12 For Trademark Infringement Of The 12 Apostles
In light of recent drama within BYU athletics, it should come as no surprise that another scandal has been brewing in secret right here in Provo. Clay Baker, a finance student from springville Utah, is currently under investigation by the Honor Code Office after admitting to having a “mancrush” on BYU basketball star AJ Dybantsa. “The purity of our students is our utmost priority” says … Continue reading BYU Student Under Investigation By Honor Code Office For “Mancrush” On AJ Dybantsa
Local racists have been worried about having to choose between the official Super Bowl halftime show with Bad Bunny, who isn’t white, and Turning Point USA’s alternate show featuring Kid Rock, who writes music that isn’t good. Luckily, BYUSA partnered with Vocal Point to present a third option. “We encourage all students to observe the Sabbath by avoiding unholy music and instead getting hyped for … Continue reading Vocal Point, BYUSA to Host Alternate Alternate Halftime Show for People Who Are Racist but Don’t Want to Watch Kid Rock
