5 Ways to Tell If Your Current Relationship is Real, or Just a Response to Soul Crushing Loneliness

Have you started a relationship with someone since April? If you’re anything like us, you’re probably wondering if it’s based on real mutual affinity, or is just a psychological crutch to deal with current events. After consulting some of the world’s most eminent psychologists, we’ve made a simple list of five methods to help you decide!

  1. Do you find that after meeting with this person, you feel tired or worn out? If so, this is a good sign that the relationship is draining because you’re not genuinely interested in your partner, but rather, certain external benefits they provide.
  2. Are your standards really low? This is a red flag. The closer your ideal person gets to being “someone who lives and breaths,” the redder the flag.
  3. Does your time together consist of little more than weeping sessions, lamenting the state of the world? Ditch your SO, you just need a therapist and probably some drugs (prescribed of course, this is BYU).
  4. Are you talking about quick marriage because you aren’t sure if the human race is going to make it past the next sixth months, and you really really just want to get married? Don’t worry. If we all die by December, the dating pool in the afterlife is probably a lot bigger and more interesting.
  5. Are you looking for an “Eternal Companion,” because you’ve basically given up on happiness in this life? You also probably need some drugs, but the cool kind for existential dread this serious.

So there you have it, the definitive guide to analyzing your COVID relationship! Don’t do something stupid with eternal repercussions, just because times are hard now!