According to recent polls among BYU students, people feel more inspired by this Ron Swanson knockoff than by the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

While conference has generated a significant amount of buzz related to our new prophet and first presidency, this guy continues to overpower all old-man-related gossip. 

Whispers generated from the grapevine reveal that this guy is immortal and will never, ever give up his spot in the middle of the Tabernacle Choir stands. Rumors state that this dude even plans on living through the second coming.  

“This guy and his celestial stache have been singing at general conference since Brigham Young was the prophet. What a legend,” shared Sven Fairholm, a self-declared #1 mustache man fan.

Not only does this man bless our ears with his sweet, sweet melodies, but he moves viewers with his presence through silent, inspired communication. It is difficult to catch if you are not in tune with the spirit, but for those who are, this man has changed lives. 

John D. Amos, a member of the quorum of the seventy, admitted, “The apostles were great, but most of my conference notes came from this guy.”

While many in the choir resent the “mustache man” for monopolizing the camera and stealing screentime despite their equal hard work, one look at him explains the cameramen’s devotion.

“I can’t help it. I’m drawn to him,” stated one of them.

His thick glasses frame his captivating gaze, and his fuzzy follicles uplift his hypnotizing voice as he continues to bewitch every human within range and awaken the soul inside each member in attendance.