1. Gospel Library ProPlusPremium
Members will find a variety of subscription options on the Gospel Library App.
2. General Conference Sponsors/ Product Placement
Revenue will be collected and used to provide church buildings with less scratchy walls.
3. MSF Rework
Car crashes and juvenile delinquency don’t cost nothin.
4. Indulgences
Right idea, wrong execution.
“Based on quantitative analysis, this plan is projected to generate measurable growth in the expansion of God’s kingdom,” says Timothee Bradshawn, who looks extremely smart and trustworthy in his glasses.
We sincerely hope that members enjoy these new changes as much as they enjoye two-hour church. Additionally, church headquarters asked us to mention that the comment about indulgences was in no way meant to belittle the good that the Catholic church provides.