Author: Kim Possible

Featured, Life, Provo

A Beginner’s Guide to Becoming an Alpha Ministering Brother

Since you’ve all been slacking with your ministering sisters, it’s time to step it up. Here are some pointers that the church handbook recommends to “minister to the one” and enter the celestial kingdom as a big bad boy boss. Deliver Baked Goods. Attempt to make your own cookies, give up, and buy cookies from Walmart to put on a plate. Those Lofthouse sugar cookies … Continue reading A Beginner’s Guide to Becoming an Alpha Ministering Brother

Kim Possible
Campus, Featured, Life, News

Studies Show BYU Cookies N Cream Milk Causes Type III Diabetes

With a recent rise in diabetes cases on BYU campus, scientists found that this new diagnosis has nothing to do with your family history, and everything to do with how many bottles of cookies and cream milk you had last week. Dr. Nick shared an insightful description of the disease.  “So basically, the milk coats each of your internal organs with sugar. Then all your … Continue reading Studies Show BYU Cookies N Cream Milk Causes Type III Diabetes

Kim Possible
Uncategorized

LOVE Statue and Cute Little Dear Stolen in MOA Heist

On Sunday, October 19th, at approximately 9:30 am, student thieves wielding American Heritage textbooks broke into the MOA with SWIG in hand before escaping on the UVX with valuable statues in their pockets.  Immediately following the crime, Brigham Young emerged from the grave to express his congratulations to the students who managed to escape with no trace. “No Canva, no Learning Suite, just some good … Continue reading LOVE Statue and Cute Little Dear Stolen in MOA Heist

Kim Possible
Uncategorized

REPORT: People Care More About MoTab Mustache Guy Than Our Actual Prophet

According to recent polls among BYU students, people feel more inspired by this Ron Swanson knockoff than by the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. While conference has generated a significant amount of buzz related to our new prophet and first presidency, this guy continues to overpower all old-man-related gossip.  Whispers generated from the grapevine reveal that this guy is immortal and will … Continue reading REPORT: People Care More About MoTab Mustache Guy Than Our Actual Prophet

Kim Possible