Author: Kim Possible

Uncategorized

What to do on Game Days if You Didn’t Get a ROC Pass

You got screwed over. The BYU ticketing system failed you. Now you’re stuck in your apartment—alone, bitter, and friendless while the student section goes wild. Fortunately, we’ve compiled a list of things you can do instead. Paraglide Into the Stadium with Cosmo A 100% free, 100% foolproof way to sneak into the student section. Hold a Strike Outside LaVell Edwards Stadium Between the drumline, 3rd … Continue reading What to do on Game Days if You Didn’t Get a ROC Pass

Kim Possible
Featured, Life, Sports

Smile! You’re Cheating at the 50-Yard Line

In light of recent events, the BYU ROC board has issued an official PSA for all students: “ROC passes are on sale, and so is your reminder that football games aren’t scandalous date nights in disguise. The jumbotron catches everything—and everyone. Be careful who you bring, especially if they are side pieces or Utah fans,” shared Mandy Lyron, a student member of the committee.  Cheers … Continue reading Smile! You’re Cheating at the 50-Yard Line

Kim Possible
Featured, Provo

5 Things The Bachelor of Provo Won’t Tell You About Their New Spin-Off Series “The Altar”

The Bachelor of Provo, sponsored by Mutual and plastic surgery, is making a comeback. Here are the spoilers you need to know: One Contestant is a Mommy. Or in other words, a mamacita. Who is it? You’ll have to wait and find out once they are trying to manipulate someone. Taylor Frankie Paul will make a guest appearance on the show. That is, if she … Continue reading 5 Things The Bachelor of Provo Won’t Tell You About Their New Spin-Off Series “The Altar”

Kim Possible
Campus, Featured

Student Dies of Hypothermia After 6-Hour Study Session by Library AC Vent

After six hours of working on his graduate thesis beside the AC vent on the second floor of the HBLL, Brent Brown experienced a severe drop in body temperature and was later pronounced dead—frozen stiff in his chair. Hypothermia, a dangerous drop in body temperature, can be fatal, especially for vulnerable populations like summer-term BYU students. Though this season would seem like the last time … Continue reading Student Dies of Hypothermia After 6-Hour Study Session by Library AC Vent

Kim Possible
Campus, Featured

FSY Kid Seriously Considers Polygamy After Ending Week with Multiple COWS

At the tender age of 14, Jayden faced grave temptation after ending his camp experience with not one, but seven crushes of the week. “I’m trying not to lust after the desires of my heart, but it’s so hard–all these girls are so desirable. My prepubescent brain is so conflicted,” stated Jayden Miller, who is the proud owner of exactly three chest hairs. Throughout the … Continue reading FSY Kid Seriously Considers Polygamy After Ending Week with Multiple COWS

Kim Possible