Author: Kim Possible

Featured, Provo

5 Things The Bachelor of Provo Won’t Tell You About Their New Spin-Off Series “The Altar”

The Bachelor of Provo, sponsored by Mutual and plastic surgery, is making a comeback. Here are the spoilers you need to know: One Contestant is a Mommy. Or in other words, a mamacita. Who is it? You’ll have to wait and find out once they are trying to manipulate someone. Taylor Frankie Paul will make a guest appearance on the show. That is, if she … Continue reading 5 Things The Bachelor of Provo Won’t Tell You About Their New Spin-Off Series “The Altar”

Kim Possible
Campus, Featured

Student Dies of Hypothermia After 6-Hour Study Session by Library AC Vent

After six hours of working on his graduate thesis beside the AC vent on the second floor of the HBLL, Brent Brown experienced a severe drop in body temperature and was later pronounced dead—frozen stiff in his chair. Hypothermia, a dangerous drop in body temperature, can be fatal, especially for vulnerable populations like summer-term BYU students. Though this season would seem like the last time … Continue reading Student Dies of Hypothermia After 6-Hour Study Session by Library AC Vent

Kim Possible
Campus, Featured

FSY Kid Seriously Considers Polygamy After Ending Week with Multiple COWS

At the tender age of 14, Jayden faced grave temptation after ending his camp experience with not one, but seven crushes of the week. “I’m trying not to lust after the desires of my heart, but it’s so hard–all these girls are so desirable. My prepubescent brain is so conflicted,” stated Jayden Miller, who is the proud owner of exactly three chest hairs. Throughout the … Continue reading FSY Kid Seriously Considers Polygamy After Ending Week with Multiple COWS

Kim Possible
Uncategorized

How To Soft Launch That You’re a Liberal

Nothing is fun without a hint of mystery or suspense. Enter the soft launch — the not-quite-official, not-quite-secret strategy of introducing a new fact about yourself. With Pride month in full swing, here are some subtle ways to show your true colors. Wear a rainbow WWJD bracelet A subtle way to flaunt your political beliefs while also reprimanding small-minded haters. You are a follower of … Continue reading How To Soft Launch That You’re a Liberal

Kim Possible
Featured

BREAKING: Satan Drops Brand New Streaming Service “VidDevil”

You’re sitting in your living room–feet up, popcorn in hand, prepared to enjoy a wholesome movie night with the people you love most. Before long, you realize the once family-friendly movie you all cherished has been replaced with a profane, sensual, and extremely violent alternative. Suddenly, “The Parent Trap” has new meaning.  Say hello to VidDevil, the streaming service from hell. Sometimes you want to … Continue reading BREAKING: Satan Drops Brand New Streaming Service “VidDevil”

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