Kevin Worthen on the Prowl for Date to Homecoming Formal

BYU campus is on high alert today. For one, excitement is in the air for tonight’s Homecoming Formal Dance. And for another, more sinister reason, President Kevin Jessica Worthen is reportedly on the prowl for a date. He was seen just this morning making excessive eye contact and casually wearing his shirt unbuttoned. According to Worthen, this is just his normal “casual Friday” attire.  “My … Continue reading Kevin Worthen on the Prowl for Date to Homecoming Formal

Midnight Madness Moved to 9pm Because “The Holy Ghost Goes to Bed at Midnight”

Instagram quote: “BYU……BYU…it’s for us…..for U. BYlovesU” – Cougarette slam poetry performance Midnight Madness is a staple of BYU’s Homecoming Week. For years, this famous event has been held around midnight, hence the name. However, after a petition from students that refused to attend the event because “it’s held past the Holy Ghost’s bedtime”, it was decided Midnight Madness would be held at 9pm this … Continue reading Midnight Madness Moved to 9pm Because “The Holy Ghost Goes to Bed at Midnight”

Testing Center Introduces $15 Fastpass

As midterms enter full swing this fall semester, students have been reminded of the awful, dread-filled misery of waiting in line to take an exam. Surprisingly, BYU has actually done something to fix this problem. Starting on October 10, a $15 FastPass will enable students to cut to the front of the line for 24 hours.  The university’s reaction has been mixed. Supporters of the … Continue reading Testing Center Introduces $15 Fastpass

Tensions Rise at BYU Apartment as Misinformed Roommate Incorrectly “Soaked” the Dishes

“Come on bro, I was just doing what my roommate told me to do.” This was the phrase used by BYU Bro Ted Fulmer in his defense against his livid roommates this past weekend. According to Ted, he was only following instructions. Following the herd one would say. But for his roommates, Ted absolutely crossed the line. What did Ted do to cause such a … Continue reading Tensions Rise at BYU Apartment as Misinformed Roommate Incorrectly “Soaked” the Dishes

Leaked DMs Reveal Adam Levine’s Extramarital Affair with Cosmo

Flirty DMs between Adam Levine and Cosmo the Cougar have been leaked online. They appear to show Levine and Cosmo have been in a relationship for months, with messages being sent sometimes dozens of times a day. This comes after numerous other women have come forward revealing their relationships with the Maroon 5 singer. Although the DMs are lewd and often graphic, Cosmo asked Levine … Continue reading Leaked DMs Reveal Adam Levine’s Extramarital Affair with Cosmo