Category: Campus

Campus, Life, Sports

Meryl Streep to perform at Saturday’s men’s basketball halftime show

Five-time Emmy Award and Oscar Nominee Meryl Streep just agreed to perform Saturday night! She will be singing her hit single, I Need a Hero. “I believe there is a hero in all of us, from Shrek to Jesus, and from Tom Hanks to Scooby Doo,” says Streep. “I just wish I had a hero. It is so lonely sometimes, being known as a sophisticated philanthropist, soccer … Continue reading Meryl Streep to perform at Saturday’s men’s basketball halftime show

Renesmee
Campus, Featured, News, Uncategorized

Guy Who Wears Shorts in Winter May Be Coolest, Toughest Man to Ever Live

He can shotgun two rootbeers at one time. He doesn’t own one pair of actual pants. Once, he tried hot sauce. He is, the toughest, coolest man in the world. You’ve probably seen him around campus but have been too intimidated to approach him. His name is Drayden Owens, and he doesn’t give a fr*k how cold it is outside- he’s wearing shorts. “His white calves … Continue reading Guy Who Wears Shorts in Winter May Be Coolest, Toughest Man to Ever Live

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Featured

BYU Gym Employee Fired After Playing Music With an Actual Beat

This past Tuesday, Billy Eilish started off his shift at his newly acquired gym job with a plan to change the world. “I had been working at the [BYU Gym] for about two weeks and the music was driving me insane,” Billy told the Alternate Universe. “After hearing exclusively Coldplay and Imagine Dragons for two straight weeks, I was ready to be swallowed in the … Continue reading BYU Gym Employee Fired After Playing Music With an Actual Beat

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Life

BYU Engineering Department designs Bop-It steering wheel

The BYU Engineering department has done it again. While they develop helpful products every year, they have developed an entertainment device for the first time in their history. Jakqueline Janssonsen and Manny Eanglish wanted to make driving more fun. “We have always enjoyed cruising and listening to bangers, but there is nothing more fun than a Bop-It. We had to use a Bop-It Extreme to … Continue reading BYU Engineering Department designs Bop-It steering wheel

Cameron Frye
Campus, Featured

BYU Denies There Were Ever Rectangle Tables in the Wilk

Thousands of students say the rectables came as suddenly as they went. Administrators say they never existed. The questions remains: Who’s doing the lying, and is BYU covering up something much more sinister? Last Monday, students reported that literally overnight, the circular tables in the Wilkinson Student Center were replaced with rectangle tables arrayed end to end. Opinions on the change varied. What caused the … Continue reading BYU Denies There Were Ever Rectangle Tables in the Wilk

Lisa Simpson