Category: Campus

Campus, Life

BYU announces Rainbow Day to celebrate Noah’s Flood

This Friday as students and professors poured onto campus decked in rainbows, BYU officials announced their first annual Rainbow Day to celebrate God’s promise to Noah after the flood. “I just woke up today and thought, wow, how grateful am I that God promised to never flood the earth again,” one BYU official was heard saying.  He continued, “It just seemed like a great idea, … Continue reading BYU announces Rainbow Day to celebrate Noah’s Flood

Sister Michael
Campus, Life

BYU Student excommunicated after confessing to his Bishop that he still watches Minecraft videos

Cherd McGaulkin knew that confessing your sins was a beautiful and important part of life. It provided a fresh start and a chance to become better as a person. But during his interview, he did not expect his Bishop to inquire of the most deadly of sin and was caught completely off guard. “It has been a great interview,” McGaulkin recounted. “As the interview to … Continue reading BYU Student excommunicated after confessing to his Bishop that he still watches Minecraft videos

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Life, Sports

Meryl Streep to perform at Saturday’s men’s basketball halftime show

Five-time Emmy Award and Oscar Nominee Meryl Streep just agreed to perform Saturday night! She will be singing her hit single, I Need a Hero. “I believe there is a hero in all of us, from Shrek to Jesus, and from Tom Hanks to Scooby Doo,” says Streep. “I just wish I had a hero. It is so lonely sometimes, being known as a sophisticated philanthropist, soccer … Continue reading Meryl Streep to perform at Saturday’s men’s basketball halftime show

Renesmee
Campus, Featured, News, Uncategorized

Guy Who Wears Shorts in Winter May Be Coolest, Toughest Man to Ever Live

He can shotgun two rootbeers at one time. He doesn’t own one pair of actual pants. Once, he tried hot sauce. He is, the toughest, coolest man in the world. You’ve probably seen him around campus but have been too intimidated to approach him. His name is Drayden Owens, and he doesn’t give a fr*k how cold it is outside- he’s wearing shorts. “His white calves … Continue reading Guy Who Wears Shorts in Winter May Be Coolest, Toughest Man to Ever Live

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Featured

BYU Gym Employee Fired After Playing Music With an Actual Beat

This past Tuesday, Billy Eilish started off his shift at his newly acquired gym job with a plan to change the world. “I had been working at the [BYU Gym] for about two weeks and the music was driving me insane,” Billy told the Alternate Universe. “After hearing exclusively Coldplay and Imagine Dragons for two straight weeks, I was ready to be swallowed in the … Continue reading BYU Gym Employee Fired After Playing Music With an Actual Beat

Bobby Zimmeruski