Category: Campus

Campus, Featured

BYU student dies after purposely contracting leprosy to “stand apart from the COVID crowd”

“This is why I flooded the Earth guys…Do I need to do it again?” – God, probably Just like the guy who doesn’t realize the party has ended and as clearly overstayed his welcome, COVID has once again run rampant across the United States. The new Omicron variant has revived COVID from the ashes and now it has its eyes set on infecting every single person … Continue reading BYU student dies after purposely contracting leprosy to “stand apart from the COVID crowd”

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Featured

Friend-Zoned Student Confused When Crush Posts She is Getting Married to her “Best-Friend”

When Trevor Rump finally mustered up the courage to ask out the girl he’d been staring at in the Cougareat for the last five minutes, he thought nothing could go wrong. He walked up to her, leaned against the table, and started spitting game he had been practicing in the mirror since his mission. He failed miserably. “You seem really nice but I think it … Continue reading Friend-Zoned Student Confused When Crush Posts She is Getting Married to her “Best-Friend”

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, News

BYU Student Kills New Roommate Thought Intruder

Happy first week of the semester Cougars. Have you counted your blessings recently? Because if you thought your syllabi were hard, try getting killed before you even have the opportunity to drop the class. That’s right, only one week into the new year and BYU already mourns the first murder of the semester.  We must not that for legal reasons we cannot disclose the apartment … Continue reading BYU Student Kills New Roommate Thought Intruder

Sue Sylvester
Campus

BYU announces devotional/forum lineup for winter semester

Every Tuesday at 11:05 a.m., students, faculty and staff head to the Marriott Center for the weekly Devotional or Forum address. Typically, BYU President Kevin J Worthen and his wife Peggy kick off the semester and are followed by members of the leadership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, BYU employees and other “sick AF people.” Entertainment figures round out the semester … Continue reading BYU announces devotional/forum lineup for winter semester

Cameron Frye
Campus, Life

Bishop Sets New Year’s Resolution for YSA Ward: Marry 50 Singles

Bishop Johnson has decided to start off the New Year with a bang by setting a New Year’s resolution to marry off 50 singles from the YSA ward he leads. He announced his goal this Sunday during Sacrament meeting. “As we begin this year, let us make time for the most important thing in our lives: dating and getting married so that I can become … Continue reading Bishop Sets New Year’s Resolution for YSA Ward: Marry 50 Singles

Sister Michael