BYU Temple Strong Among Conference Rumors

With the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints’ semi-annual General Conference just a few days away, very “credible sources” across the church have been hinting at some of the biggest changes to be announced. The possibility of a BYU Temple continues to stand out as one of the more reliable leaks. Thanks to the speculative social media posts of friends of people who are … Continue reading BYU Temple Strong Among Conference Rumors

Trending: Get Points for Completely Ignoring Carbon-Based Lifeforms with This Groundbreaking App

Students from all over have been flooding the App Store this morning to download a revolutionary new game which promises to reward its users for completely ignoring any surrounding carbon-based lifeforms. Critics are already praising “ScreenFocus” as one of the defining apps of our generation, and a multi-million user fan base seems to agree. The app’s premise is a simple one. Tapping the bland app … Continue reading Trending: Get Points for Completely Ignoring Carbon-Based Lifeforms with This Groundbreaking App

Shining Bearded President Worthen Announces Animal Sacrifice to Replace Honor Code

BYU President Kevin Worthen, having spent his holiday break exclusively in solitude atop Y-mountain returned this Tuesday to the rowdy crowds awaiting his traditional first devotional to open the new semester. Many are still in shock at his dramatic announcement that animal sacrifice as described in the Old Testament will be taking the place of BYU’s current honor code. The devotional itself got off to … Continue reading Shining Bearded President Worthen Announces Animal Sacrifice to Replace Honor Code

MTC Successfully Installs Death-Star Laser, Newest Bargaining Chip in Missionary Efforts

With the Provo Missionary Training Center’s expansion well under way and slated for completion later this year, there’s still one thing about one of the structure’s designs that has been raising eyebrows. A curious dome installed on the outcropping first floor of the smaller of the two new buildings has got people asking questions. Based on insider information provided by a rogue construction worker who … Continue reading MTC Successfully Installs Death-Star Laser, Newest Bargaining Chip in Missionary Efforts

Psychology Professor Debating Whether to Teach Like Normal This Semester or Turn Class Into Horrifying Social Experiment

After 14 years of teaching the same old “Critical Issues in Psychology” course, BYU Professor Donald Harping is wondering if it might be more interesting this semester to turn his class into a horrifying social experiment, one that completely defies ethical testing methods and scares participants for years to come. “I was thinking it would be enlightening to find out how my students would react … Continue reading Psychology Professor Debating Whether to Teach Like Normal This Semester or Turn Class Into Horrifying Social Experiment