Category: Featured

Featured, News

Professor Who Bible Swears Kind of Pushing It Today

The Alternate Universe is dedicated to delivering the most accurate news to the people of Provo. So when our informants told us about a section of American Heritage with a waitlist of 127 students, we knew we had to do some investigative journalism. After just a few minutes in the lecture hall, an undercover AU reporter discovered the reason for the section’s popularity: Dr. Patrick … Continue reading Professor Who Bible Swears Kind of Pushing It Today

Anya Forger
Featured

Student Home for Holidays Just Long Enough to Remember Why They Moved Out in First Place

Sarah Fuller could not have been more excited to finish finals and hop on her Delta flight home to Peoria, Illinois. And while at first she worried that 2 weeks wouldn’t be enough time to spend with her family, she has since realized it is actually just the right amount of time to remember why she moved out in the first place. “THERE’S A DIVINE … Continue reading Student Home for Holidays Just Long Enough to Remember Why They Moved Out in First Place

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Featured, News, Uncategorized

‘Tall Club’ President Revealed to be 3 Freshmen In Trench Coat

BYU’s newest extracurricular organization ‘Tall Club’ is currently experiencing a power vacuum after the exposure of the club’s president as only 3 freshman in a trench coat. The main eyewitness was taking a bathroom break during a meeting when he got a surprise he wasn’t prepared for. “The top one was trying to use the urinal and basically the whole disguise fell apart,” reported 6’4″ … Continue reading ‘Tall Club’ President Revealed to be 3 Freshmen In Trench Coat

Lisa Simpson
Featured, Uncategorized

50 Ways to Smite the World This Christmas Season

50 WAYS TO SHUT OUT LIGHT Move someone’s bookmark to a different page. Burn down your local food bank. Scowl at someone. Leave a passive aggressive note for your mail carrier. Laugh at a friend. Leave a bad review for a local business. Abuse someone’s generosity. Scam an old person. Ask a woman if she’s pregnant. Tell a loved one their vibes are off. Sleep … Continue reading 50 Ways to Smite the World This Christmas Season

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Featured, Life

White Friday Sale at BYU Dubbed a ‘Bloodbath’

2023 marks the first year of the BYU Store’s “White Friday Sale”. While the sale had little promotional advertising, word-of-mouth alone generated a crowd of white Provo residents nothing short of massive. 50% off items such as chocolate-covered cinnamon bears and Mikarose dresses had Provo residents lining up as early as 4 a.m. As soon as they opened the doors, bystanders say they can only … Continue reading White Friday Sale at BYU Dubbed a ‘Bloodbath’

Lisa Simpson