Category: Featured

Featured, News, Sports

Overzealous Bishop Slashes Power Lines on Super Bowl Sunday

The Super Bowl presents a unique temptation to break the Sabbath. After years of watching faithful young adults wander down the path of destruction, Bishop Belnap of the Provo 675th ward knew that something had to be done.  “Clearly, the temptation of watching the Super Bowl on the Sabbath is just too much for them to handle,” Bishop Belnap says. “I felt inspired to simply … Continue reading Overzealous Bishop Slashes Power Lines on Super Bowl Sunday

Anya Forger
Featured, Life, News, Uncategorized

FSY Album Snubbed At 2024 Grammy Awards

The 66th Annual Grammy Awards were held tonight in Los Angeles, California. The 2023 For the Strength of Youth Album, I Can Do All Things Through Christ, was anticipated to win big this year, but fans were left disappointed. Album of the year went, for the fourth time, to Taylor Swift for Midnights. “Of course we’re disappointed,” said Nik Day, a seasoned musician who collaborated … Continue reading FSY Album Snubbed At 2024 Grammy Awards

Barbie
Featured, Uncategorized

Exposed: Barefoot Cosmo’s OnlyFans income has been subsidizing your tuition for years

A new ethical debate is sweeping across campus this week after leaked financial documents confirm that the Barefoot Cosmo statue in the Wilkinson Center has been subsidizing BYU students’ tuition via online sex work. According to the documents, the statue brings in over $85,000 a month through an OnlyFans account set up in its name. The account features mainly photos of the statue’s human feet, … Continue reading Exposed: Barefoot Cosmo’s OnlyFans income has been subsidizing your tuition for years

Lisa Simpson
Featured, News

Professor Who Bible Swears Kind of Pushing It Today

The Alternate Universe is dedicated to delivering the most accurate news to the people of Provo. So when our informants told us about a section of American Heritage with a waitlist of 127 students, we knew we had to do some investigative journalism. After just a few minutes in the lecture hall, an undercover AU reporter discovered the reason for the section’s popularity: Dr. Patrick … Continue reading Professor Who Bible Swears Kind of Pushing It Today

Anya Forger
Featured

Student Home for Holidays Just Long Enough to Remember Why They Moved Out in First Place

Sarah Fuller could not have been more excited to finish finals and hop on her Delta flight home to Peoria, Illinois. And while at first she worried that 2 weeks wouldn’t be enough time to spend with her family, she has since realized it is actually just the right amount of time to remember why she moved out in the first place. “THERE’S A DIVINE … Continue reading Student Home for Holidays Just Long Enough to Remember Why They Moved Out in First Place

Lisa Simpson