Category: Featured

Campus, Featured

Protestors Vandalize MOA’s “LOVE” Sculpture with Tomato Soup

On Monday morning, BYU Museum of Art workers found a horrendous sight. Two young women were glued to the wall next to the “LOVE” sculpture, which they had defaced with cans of tomato soup. Apparently, the two had vandalized the priceless work of art the previous Saturday, but everyone had been watching the football game, leaving their protest unnoticed. The two women, Blonderisa Whiteface and … Continue reading Protestors Vandalize MOA’s “LOVE” Sculpture with Tomato Soup

Macho Man Randy Savage
Featured, News, Uncategorized

Missionaries expand technology use to Omegle, Reddit, Tumblr, Discord, Yikyak, AskFM, Quora and Bumble BFF

With the arrival of Coronavirus upending the world in 2020, missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were forced to adapt to new ways to find and teach nonmembers. After some serious trial and error, the young Elders and Sisters have transformed Facebook from a social media platform for geezers into a platform for virtual teaching and finding. As the majority of … Continue reading Missionaries expand technology use to Omegle, Reddit, Tumblr, Discord, Yikyak, AskFM, Quora and Bumble BFF

George Beard
Campus, Featured, Life

Kevin Worthen on the Prowl for Date to Homecoming Formal

BYU campus is on high alert today. For one, excitement is in the air for tonight’s Homecoming Formal Dance. And for another, more sinister reason, President Kevin Jessica Worthen is reportedly on the prowl for a date. He was seen just this morning making excessive eye contact and casually wearing his shirt unbuttoned. According to Worthen, this is just his normal “casual Friday” attire.  “My … Continue reading Kevin Worthen on the Prowl for Date to Homecoming Formal

Sue Sylvester
Campus, Featured

Midnight Madness Moved to 9pm Because “The Holy Ghost Goes to Bed at Midnight”

Instagram quote: “BYU……BYU…it’s for us…..for U. BYlovesU” – Cougarette slam poetry performance Midnight Madness is a staple of BYU’s Homecoming Week. For years, this famous event has been held around midnight, hence the name. However, after a petition from students that refused to attend the event because “it’s held past the Holy Ghost’s bedtime”, it was decided Midnight Madness would be held at 9pm this … Continue reading Midnight Madness Moved to 9pm Because “The Holy Ghost Goes to Bed at Midnight”

Cody Maverick
Featured, Uncategorized

Alert: The Daily Universe is Just a Scam and Parody: DO NOT READ

It has recently come to the attention of The Alternate Universe that there is another “so-called” student-run news source at BYU. They call themselves The Daily Universe and are clearly a rip-off and scam of our very excellent and high quality newspaper. “We are obviously the original and more-trustworthy newspaper. Just look at how many more followers we have than The Daily Universe” pointed out … Continue reading Alert: The Daily Universe is Just a Scam and Parody: DO NOT READ

Sister Michael