Category: Life

Campus, Featured, Life, Provo

The Devil Went Down To Provo: Provo Man Wins Piano Contest Against Satan

On Friday, construction workers found an ancient poem while working in the HFAC. The ode, etched onto a stone tablet, is written in Old English and appears to date back to the 20th century. Professor Filastus Dogberry, an expert in ancient languages, was able to translate the epic poem after many hours of study. The following translation was sent by Professor Dogberry to the Alternate … Continue reading The Devil Went Down To Provo: Provo Man Wins Piano Contest Against Satan

Macho Man Randy Savage
Featured, Life

Five Last Minute Sexy-Modest Halloween Costumes

It can be tough to find a flattering costume that doesn’t compromise your morals. Here’s a list of white-hot ideas guaranteed to attract their attention without requiring you to put too much skin in the game. 5. Inflatable Morph Suit Erase any semblance of womanly curves in this classic look. Sure, your crush won’t even be able to see your face, but that just gives … Continue reading Five Last Minute Sexy-Modest Halloween Costumes

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Life

BYU Freshman Tries Mint Brownie, Dubs It “Too Spicy”

Instagram blurbs: “I took one bite of the brownie, and next thing I know, my mouth is on fire… I thought I was going to return to Kolob right then and there” -Dallin Smith, Caucasian Instagram blurbs: “This is truly one of the most pathetic things I have ever seen” – BYU EMT, quitting soon Dallin Smith was excited to come to BYU for his … Continue reading BYU Freshman Tries Mint Brownie, Dubs It “Too Spicy”

Cody Maverick
Campus, Life, News, Sports

BYU Unveils New CougarTail, Tastes of Bitter Disappointment

For students and alumni of Brigham Young University, nothing says school spirit quite like shoving an eight-foot-long treat of sugar and dough down your gullet. The iconic maple-glazed donut known as the CougarTail has been a staple of Cougar Sports for years, whether enjoyed among friends or eaten solo over the slow course of a multi-hour game. For centuries this delectable dessert has been only … Continue reading BYU Unveils New CougarTail, Tastes of Bitter Disappointment

George Beard
Campus, Featured, Life

Kevin Worthen on the Prowl for Date to Homecoming Formal

BYU campus is on high alert today. For one, excitement is in the air for tonight’s Homecoming Formal Dance. And for another, more sinister reason, President Kevin Jessica Worthen is reportedly on the prowl for a date. He was seen just this morning making excessive eye contact and casually wearing his shirt unbuttoned. According to Worthen, this is just his normal “casual Friday” attire.  “My … Continue reading Kevin Worthen on the Prowl for Date to Homecoming Formal

Sue Sylvester