Category: Life

Campus, Life

New Video Surfaces: Hank Smith Spits on President Worthen During Tuesday’s Devotional

Tuesday afternoon, a shocking video began to circle the internet wherein Hank Smith supposedly spat on President Worthen during Tuesday’s Devotional. While the video is at an odd angle and slightly grainy, students and faculty alike tend to believe that the incident did really occur. Rumors of drama and tension around the incident have been overwhelming. “I heard that Kevin wouldn’t approve Hank’s ‘Mormon Cryptid’ … Continue reading New Video Surfaces: Hank Smith Spits on President Worthen During Tuesday’s Devotional

Sister Michael
Featured, Life, News, Provo

Provo YSA Relief Societies Announce New Members Must “Rush to Zion”

YSA Relief Societies in Provo will no longer be assigning wards based on members’ addresses and will instead use a screening process similar to sorority recruitment. This process will take place over the span of a week, nicknamed “Rush to Zion Week”. Freshmen will visit with Relief Societies during this time and the week will culminate in a grand reveal of Relief Society Matches on … Continue reading Provo YSA Relief Societies Announce New Members Must “Rush to Zion”

Kayteigh Leigh
Life

Woman Moving Out of the Village Looks Back, Turns to Pillar of Salt

On Thursday, a woman fell victim to the unholy temple that is the Village. Identified only as “Logan’s wife”, she was moving to King Henry after years of living at the Village. Right before turning the corner onto 700 E, she looked back at the complex. In fact, she looked back with longing. With a bright flash of light and an heavenly crash, she was … Continue reading Woman Moving Out of the Village Looks Back, Turns to Pillar of Salt

Macho Man Randy Savage
Life, News

New Study Shows Modesty Outlets Outnumber Mental Health Facilities in Utah

Utah- a state ranked 50th in access to mental health care and a population full of mentally ill people. But at least they’re all wearing square neck, puffy sleeve, knee-length floral dresses! A recent study shows that modesty outlets have officially outnumbered mental health facilities in Utah, a reflection in how maybe retail therapy is the real cure. We sat down with researcher and mental … Continue reading New Study Shows Modesty Outlets Outnumber Mental Health Facilities in Utah

Sue Sylvester
Campus, Disney, Grayscale, Life, News

Honor Code Office Bans Barbie Movies

The all-powerful, historically Orwellian Honor Code Office held a meeting to counsel with each other about additional censorship. An administrator suggested 21st century Disney movies because of the apparent drama, and one committee member offhandedly complained about his granddaughter’s obsession with Barbie movies. He said that he was “appalled” to see such monstrosities as rainbows, glitter, and dancing animals. So, the committee decided to watch … Continue reading Honor Code Office Bans Barbie Movies

Renesmee