Category: Life

Campus, Life

President Worthen Realizes He Made Too Much Guac for Spring Term Kickoff Party

Upon arriving at the annual campus-wide Spring term kickoff party on Friday, university president Kevin J. Worthen quickly realized that he had brought way too much of his signature homemade guacamole. “I always forget to adjust my recipe from when I make a batch at the start of Fall.” Worthen chuckled to himself while handing out gallon jugs of guac to the 11 students attending, … Continue reading President Worthen Realizes He Made Too Much Guac for Spring Term Kickoff Party

Warren Dusenberry
Campus, Life, News

BYU to Make Changes to Honor Code in Response to Student-lead Protests

After hard-working students spent hours organizing events and standing out in unfriendly weather, the BYU administration has finally agreed to makes changes to the Honor Code. “Ok, ok, we’ll do it,” said Dan Johnson, head of the Honor Code Office, at a press conference following the demonstration “I guess we’ll make some changes. We would like to announce that when writing, you will no longer … Continue reading BYU to Make Changes to Honor Code in Response to Student-lead Protests

Liz Lemon
Campus, General Conference, Life, News

Heartbroken Conference Rumor Believers Abandon Tent City Outside Orem Starbucks

Following another inspirational weekend of General Conference, disappointed rumor believers are now packing up the small tent city they set up out front of a rundown Orem Starbucks. “We’re honestly still shook that nothing changed.” related coffee-hungry Craig Zimmerman, tossing a sleeping bag into the back of the family mini van as rain poured down, “My friend’s credible sources must be having serious trust issues … Continue reading Heartbroken Conference Rumor Believers Abandon Tent City Outside Orem Starbucks

Warren Dusenberry
Campus, Life

BREAKING: BYU Announces Changes That Will Help Students Relive the 1950s to Match Standards Set By the Honor Code Office.

Major changes to the campus at Brigham Young University were announced by President Kevin J. Worthen at a press conference this afternoon, following the Saturday morning session of General Conference. “The goal of these changes is to remind students of what we at BYU believe were the Golden Years: the 1950’s. The Honor Code Office is already doing a wonderful job of keeping students’ behavior … Continue reading BREAKING: BYU Announces Changes That Will Help Students Relive the 1950s to Match Standards Set By the Honor Code Office.

Liz Lemon
Campus, Life, News

EXCLUSIVE: BYU Police to be replaced with Flying Monkeys from The Land of Oz.

Following legal action resulting in elimination of the BYU police, officers will allegedly be replaced with the Flying Monkeys, on loan from the land of Oz. Beginning on May 1st, the Monkeys will begin residency on campus. They will assume full responsibilities formerly carried out by BYU police with one exception: the monkeys will be able to carry misbehaving students away to a dark tower … Continue reading EXCLUSIVE: BYU Police to be replaced with Flying Monkeys from The Land of Oz.

Liz Lemon