Category: News

Featured, News

Elder Appalled After Companion Attempted a Kiss to Celebrate The New Year

As families, friends, and couples worldwide rang in the New Year, celebrations varied from place to place. Some opted for a low-key movie marathon at home, while others hit the streets for a night of partying. However, two elders in the Texas McAllen Mission celebrated with a huge misunderstanding.  Excited by the premise of a new year and a new beginning, Elder Jackalopeton leaned in … Continue reading Elder Appalled After Companion Attempted a Kiss to Celebrate The New Year

Kayteigh Leigh
Featured, Life, News

RLDS Church Announces First Season of “Taking Machines”

As the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints once again unfurls their Christmas campaign to “Light the World”, many holiday lovers are expected to flock to Temple Square for the opportunity to donate charitably through ingeniously designed crimson Giving Machines. This year, however, they won’t be the only vending machine spin-offs on the block.  The Community of Christ (formally known as the Reformed Church … Continue reading RLDS Church Announces First Season of “Taking Machines”

George Beard
Featured, News, Sports

Quorum of the Twelve and First Presidency Compete in a Turkey Bowl

Gratitude, spending time with family, and eating an obscene amount of food are all irreplaceable Thanksgiving traditions. This year, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and the First Presidency decided to add to this list of traditions with the All-American tradition of the turkey bowl. President Russell M. Nelson served as the referee for this exciting event.  The first team, “Homies in Christ”—made up of … Continue reading Quorum of the Twelve and First Presidency Compete in a Turkey Bowl

Kayteigh Leigh
Campus, Life, News

Biting “Zombie” in Clyde Building Actually Just Horny Student

You may have heard screams coming from the southeast corner of campus. In the Clyde Building, McFury Tryxton Johansen enjoyed his afternoon snack. One may assume that calling for daddy is a cry for help, so an eighty-five-year-old professor clonked McFury over the head with a chair. Days later, when McFury finally woke up, Dr. Griswold discovered the frightening truth – McFury was making out. … Continue reading Biting “Zombie” in Clyde Building Actually Just Horny Student

Renesmee
Life, News, Uncategorized

New Study Links Creamery Products to Male Pattern Baldness

The epidemic of male pattern baldness at Brigham Young University is truly frightening. Every two minutes, a balding returned missionary asks out an unsuspecting freshman girl. Now, groundbreaking research from the Developmental Biology Department of Research at the University of Utah has discovered a connection between the onset of male pattern baldness and the amount of BYU Creamery products consumed, offering new information about the … Continue reading New Study Links Creamery Products to Male Pattern Baldness

Kayteigh Leigh