Area 51 Raid Uncovers 116 Lost pages of the Book of Mormon and Other Items

Yesterday it was discovered that Area 51 was in possession of the 116 pages of the Book of Mormon that was lost by Martin Harris many years ago. The pages were recovered today by an unknown Naruto Runner that was participating in the Facebook Event “Storm Area 51: They Can’t Stop All of Us.” Many other items of interest were rescued from behind the fences … Continue reading Area 51 Raid Uncovers 116 Lost pages of the Book of Mormon and Other Items

Alternate Universe Awarded Pultzer Prize for Ground-Breaking Investigation on The Daily Universe

It was announced that the Alternate Universe will take home the Pultzer Prize for investigative journalism early Friday morning. The Josef Pultzer Prize is the most famous prize in all of journalism. It is the greatest honor in the whole world to win one. The Alternate Universe was awarded the prize following their investigation into the malpractices of The Daily Universe. Their reporting began with … Continue reading Alternate Universe Awarded Pultzer Prize for Ground-Breaking Investigation on The Daily Universe

Enraged BYU Students Continue to Not Read The Universe in Response to Scandal

President Worthen’s investigation of The Universe yesterday marked the latest twist in an increasingly damning saga of exploitation, abuse, and fake news. The administration has yet to officially condemn The Universe for exploiting unpaid student labor, which may indicate just how deep this scandal goes. In spite of this, several grassroots movements have begun taking matters into their own hands by organizing protests. As a … Continue reading Enraged BYU Students Continue to Not Read The Universe in Response to Scandal

BREAKING: President Worthen Raids Daily Universe Offices

In a stunning development in the scandal some are calling “at least fifty times more important than Watergate”, BYU President Kevin Worthen raided offices used by The Daily Universe early Wednesday morning. At around 3:15 AM, President Worthen conducted the first of what promises to be many raids seeking evidence to corroborate reports of exploitation of unpaid student labor.  According to eyewitnesses, he was accompanied … Continue reading BREAKING: President Worthen Raids Daily Universe Offices

EXPOSED: ‘The Daily Universe’ Humiliating Aspiring Journalists by Forcing Them to Make Paper No One Reads

BYU’s signature news publication The Universe is in hot water this morning after news broke of a massive scandal. The organization has allegedly been exploiting unpaid student labor for more than 60 years, humiliating them on their own campus by forcing them to write a paper that no one reads. “Every Tuesday when the paper is distributed, I watch thousands of students walk by our … Continue reading EXPOSED: ‘The Daily Universe’ Humiliating Aspiring Journalists by Forcing Them to Make Paper No One Reads