Immediately following the roll-out of a new program providing rentable electric scooters in south Provo, the Provo City Transit has announced a new Pogo stick sharing service. The program, scheduled to launch in late April, will feature publicly available Pogo sticks that can be rented for a flat two dollar fee, or .1 cent per bounce. “We’re excited to bring this bold new form of … Continue reading Provo Transit Announces New Pogo Stick Sharing Program

A local Chevron gas station is reportedly making millions this week after one simple change. Since marketing their gas as “essential oil”, thousands from across the state have brought their cars in to fill up. Customers insist that the fuel will dramatically improve the quality of their lives. “Even I was surprised by how much smoother it felt driving in a car powered by this … Continue reading Provo Chevron Sees Record Profits After Rebranding Gas as ‘Essential Oil’

President Worthen, who’s administration recently passed key changes to the Honor Code and created new economic opportunities through a Cougareat Wendy’s, received a surprise call from the DNC this afternoon. Having accidentally met the required polling threshold to qualify for the second round of democratic primary debates, BYU’s President is expected to join the other candidates on-stage tomorrow night. Worthen immediately began lashing out at … Continue reading President Worthen Accidentally Qualifies for Second Round of Presidential Debates, Begins Attacking Joe Biden Immediately

The time-honored Pioneer day celebration is a prolific part of Utah culture. Complete with enough parades, American flags, and straw hats to be mistaken for an Amish Independence day festival, the 24th of July is a time to reflect on the sacrifice of the pioneers on their long trek across the US. However, a shocking new conspiracy is gaining traction that may be existentially dangerous … Continue reading New Pioneer-Denialism Movement Expected to Undercut Pioneer Day Festivities