Category: Uncategorized

Campus, Featured, News, Uncategorized

Guy Who Wears Shorts in Winter May Be Coolest, Toughest Man to Ever Live

He can shotgun two rootbeers at one time. He doesn’t own one pair of actual pants. Once, he tried hot sauce. He is, the toughest, coolest man in the world. You’ve probably seen him around campus but have been too intimidated to approach him. His name is Drayden Owens, and he doesn’t give a fr*k how cold it is outside- he’s wearing shorts. “His white calves … Continue reading Guy Who Wears Shorts in Winter May Be Coolest, Toughest Man to Ever Live

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Featured, Uncategorized

Cannon Center to Install Actual Cannon

As efforts increase to prevent the spread of Coronavirus, BYU’s Cannon Center has taken a revolutionary approach to social distancing and public safety with the installation of a real cannon. Imported from England, the cannon will be loaded with food and fired at the hungry students. Kate Anderson, head manager of the Cannon Center, described the process of this new decision to The Alternate Universe … Continue reading Cannon Center to Install Actual Cannon

Sister Michael
Uncategorized

BYU Fine Arts to Offer New Program: Continuing the Legacy of Tom Hanks

In loving memory of Tom Hanks, the deans of BYU’s college of fine arts and the film department have met and decided to open a new department based on Tom Hanks’s marvelous work. Each class will be focused on a different movie and its corresponding role that Tom Hanks played. Film student Marcus Flibberbottom remarks, “I will really miss Tom Hanks, but it is time … Continue reading BYU Fine Arts to Offer New Program: Continuing the Legacy of Tom Hanks

Renesmee
Featured, Life, Uncategorized

Student’s 5 Year Plan Becomes Eternal Plan

It started out as a simple FHE activity: imagine where you want to be in five years and make a plan with tangible goals. But when Ammon Jensen started writing his five year plan, he found himself unable to stop. Instead, he made an Eternal Plan. Included in his plan are milestones like “get married in the Temple” and “convert LeBron James.” “We studied the … Continue reading Student’s 5 Year Plan Becomes Eternal Plan

Sister Michael
Featured, Life, Uncategorized

LDS Giving Machines End Contract with BYU Vending Machine Supplier

After numerous complaints that the machines were always empty, the Light the World donation managers look elsewhere to keep their machine shelves stocked. Earthquake-sized waves rocked through the LDS-Christmas-donation-supply-chain-management-regulation community when it was announced that Light the World officials had parted ways with their current supply partner – The BYU Vending Machine Group. They had initially worked together as it was convenient to coordinate with … Continue reading LDS Giving Machines End Contract with BYU Vending Machine Supplier

Mark Grayson