Category: Uncategorized

Campus, Featured, Life, Uncategorized

Oscar for Best Actor Goes to Guy Pretending to Be Interested at Wilk Booth with Free Cookies

The votes are in. The 94th Academy Awards has named “the guy feigning interest at the Wilk booth in order to get a free cookie” the best actor of 2021. An exclusive interview with this man at the Oscar’s after party revealed more about what motivated his performance. “I have 23 cents in my bank account. I have subsisted on nothing but free booth cookies … Continue reading Oscar for Best Actor Goes to Guy Pretending to Be Interested at Wilk Booth with Free Cookies

Lisa Simpson
Uncategorized

Disappointed Local Man’s “Intramural Champion” T-Shirt Not Enough to Woo Women

After scoring zero points and acquiring six fouls in his team’s intramural championship game, Karl Stockton was ready to take on the world. Stockton, who teamed up with his mission companion’s old high school basketball team, fulfilled his biggest dream since he came to BYU: become an intramural champion. “This is why I’ve been putting in all that work,” Stockton said. “Taking beginning basketball every … Continue reading Disappointed Local Man’s “Intramural Champion” T-Shirt Not Enough to Woo Women

Bobby Zimmeruski
Uncategorized

Petition to Change the Talmage Building Statue Gains Traction among Church Leadership

https://chng.it/nKyNMgG6sC If you have been living under a rock, you may not have heard of the petition to change the Talmage Building’s statue. Nor would you have had you heard of the plans to implement this change. Well, that’s what we’re here for—reporting real news to real people. Here is the petition description, as written by Dya Rhea: “The statue of Po the Panda is … Continue reading Petition to Change the Talmage Building Statue Gains Traction among Church Leadership

Renesmee
Campus, Featured, News, Uncategorized

Guy Who Wears Shorts in Winter May Be Coolest, Toughest Man to Ever Live

He can shotgun two rootbeers at one time. He doesn’t own one pair of actual pants. Once, he tried hot sauce. He is, the toughest, coolest man in the world. You’ve probably seen him around campus but have been too intimidated to approach him. His name is Drayden Owens, and he doesn’t give a fr*k how cold it is outside- he’s wearing shorts. “His white calves … Continue reading Guy Who Wears Shorts in Winter May Be Coolest, Toughest Man to Ever Live

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Featured, Uncategorized

Cannon Center to Install Actual Cannon

As efforts increase to prevent the spread of Coronavirus, BYU’s Cannon Center has taken a revolutionary approach to social distancing and public safety with the installation of a real cannon. Imported from England, the cannon will be loaded with food and fired at the hungry students. Kate Anderson, head manager of the Cannon Center, described the process of this new decision to The Alternate Universe … Continue reading Cannon Center to Install Actual Cannon

Sister Michael