Category: Uncategorized
Grifols Offers Super Tuesday Bonus to Plasma Donors
Students were delighted on Tuesday morning when Grifols sent out a text message to all current plasma donors offering a special bonus. The offer, only valid on that day, included a free can of caffeinated soda to those who donated. Grifols also announced that for every pint of plasma received, the company would convince an undecided voter to vote for Bernie Sanders in the presidential … Continue reading Grifols Offers Super Tuesday Bonus to Plasma Donors
Students Mourn as BYU Average GPA Falls Two Whole Points After Quizlet Goes Down Before Midterms
Provo is the scene of great lamentation this weekend after this round of midterms has concluded in tragedy. Many student’s main study resource, Quizlet, went down permanently last week due to Russian meddling. Sarah Sappers, a freshman, told us, “How was I supposed to memorize what a preposition or a noun is without Quizlet’s free flashcards? I looked at the study guide for my English … Continue reading Students Mourn as BYU Average GPA Falls Two Whole Points After Quizlet Goes Down Before Midterms
President Trump to declare war on Utah Construction with Bipartisan Support
The state of Utah is on the verge of war following a recent visit by President Donald Trump. During his visit, President Trump expressed his frustration with the never-ending cycle of construction in Utah. On Twitter, he wrote: “It’s ridiculous, it’s obnoxious, it’s nasty, and it’s an outrage. Utah construction causes the worst traffic in the history of traffic. I will bring the full might … Continue reading President Trump to declare war on Utah Construction with Bipartisan Support
Orem Mall Officials Brace for Second Week of Dozens of FHE Groups Playing ‘Where’s Waldo’
At University Place mall in Orem, shoppers and workers alike are bracing themselves for what is shaping up to be another chaotic Monday night. Mall employees are still reeling from last week when an unknown number of FHE groups converged on the shopping center to play Where’s Waldo. The game, based on the popular book series, involves one person dressed in red and white stripes … Continue reading Orem Mall Officials Brace for Second Week of Dozens of FHE Groups Playing ‘Where’s Waldo’
