Tag: Featured

Life

“Minister? I Hardly Know Her”—Joke Falls Flat at 4th Disappointing Ministering Interview in a Row

As laid out in the handbook, the leadership of the Provo YSA 678th Ward attempts to carry out ministering interviews once a quarter. Shaleigh Howe, a junior at BYU, went into her interview knowing she had not done a single thing with any of the sisters to whom she is assigned to minister. Howe thought she could get away with a quick interview by using … Continue reading “Minister? I Hardly Know Her”—Joke Falls Flat at 4th Disappointing Ministering Interview in a Row

Cameron Frye
Featured, News, Sports

Dallin Hall Declared Lisan al-Gaib

History was made in Omaha on Thursday as a BYU basketball player declared that he would lead the university to paradise and a National Championship before their first March Madness game. “No one in this room can stand against me,” declared point guard Dallin Hall as he took center court before Thursday’s game. “Your mothers warned you about my coming. Fear the moment.” Mark Pope, … Continue reading Dallin Hall Declared Lisan al-Gaib

Paul Atreides
Campus, Featured

Cosmo Cougar Gets Brazilian Butt Lift

BYU’s beloved mascot, Cosmo, has gotten a little cheekier.  The acrobatic cat recently underwent a procedure to add some extra size to his hindquarters and has become, for lack of a better term, “dummy thicc.” While rumors about the change spread at first, Cosmo’s most recent public appearance put those myths to rest.  When asked about the new changes, students have reacted differently. Freshman Jaykob … Continue reading Cosmo Cougar Gets Brazilian Butt Lift

Paul Hollywood
Featured

General Stabbed on the Ides of March as Helaman-Heritage War Drags On

As Heritage and Helaman Halls continue to take up arms against each other for some reason that nobody actually remembers, Army of Helaman General Audrey Thibaughlt has displayed extreme prowess as a strategist. But no hero is without flaw. Her ambition had become apparent to her officers, and they seized the opportunity to put an end to it. Thibaughlt was stabbed ten times–once for each … Continue reading General Stabbed on the Ides of March as Helaman-Heritage War Drags On

Don Cheadle
Campus, Featured

BYU Police Partners With Missionary Department to Place Tiwi Systems on Campus Scooters

In BYU’s latest efforts to monitor on-campus travel, leaders have decided to combine forces with the Missionary Department to install Tiwi systems (A GPS-enabled device that will allow authorities to monitor students’ driving activity) on scooters found on campus.  Says campus representative Jessica Robb, “I think campus scooter riders deserve both the embarrassment and the missionary PTSD for zooming around the Wilk like they’re in … Continue reading BYU Police Partners With Missionary Department to Place Tiwi Systems on Campus Scooters

Marceline Abadeer