In an unexpected development, the First Presidency has released a statement saying that the sealed portion of the Book of Mormon doesn’t actually exist, contradicting several of Moroni’s writings.

“It’s sitting on my desk right now to review,” wrote Moroni in the book of Ether.

However, the First Presidency has seemingly contradicted Moroni’s claim, going so far as to release Official Declaration 3 to explain that there is no sealed portion. The declaration concludes: “Let’s not waste Time and Energy on a ‘sealed portion,’ something that nobody cares about. Thank you for your attention to this matter!”

Church officials have been evasive about making any further comments on the matter.

“Portion? What is a portion? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” commented a visibly sweaty President Dallin H. Oaks, unprompted, as he happened to pass by.

It is still unclear why the investigation was launched and likely always will be.