There you were, reaching for a bottle of Sprite Zero Sugar for FHE, and there he was, reaching for a Pipeline Punch Monster like a Brontosaurus reaching for an unholy leaf.

It was shocking, unsettling, and altogether testimony-shaking. You said a quick prayer before confronting him.

“Oh, I thought that caffeine announcement was an April Fool’s joke,” he replied.

A pitiful excuse. You wrestled with God for a brief moment as you searched for the forgiveness and understanding in your heart, but ultimately failed.

He looked at you with tears of shame in his eyes.

“Monster technically doesn’t have green tea extract,” he pleaded.

But your mind was already made up. If he, the 22-year-old so-called “father” of an entire chorum of YSA elders, could not practice what he preached, you would not either.

You looked him in the eyes, hurt and entirely rattled. You spoke your final words to the man you once looked up to.

“Fake ahh servant of the Lord,” you muttered under your breath before walking out of the store.