Category: Campus

Campus, Featured, Provo

Mortifying: Computer Science Student Clearly Showered This Morning

Everyone can remember a time they were truly embarrassed. Maybe you’ve tripped on a flat surface, botched a performance, or been seen at the campus gym. But at least you’ve never been the only person in the room who remembers the last time they showered. Nosewitnesses reported that Lehi Gene, a computer science major in his freshman year, very obviously took a shower before attending … Continue reading Mortifying: Computer Science Student Clearly Showered This Morning

Don Cheadle
Campus

Student Discovers Nephite Treasures in Wilk Tunnels

Beneath BYU’s seemingly benign campus lays an intricate network of tunnels and caverns that have, until now, been undiscovered. (Except for your unemployed friends on Tuesday afternoons, that is.) Indeighyeanna Jensen, a 21 year old who moonlights as a freelance explorer and treasure-hunter, has made a stunning discovery deep under the Wilk, leaving students amazed and inspired. “When I heard about the sword of Laban, … Continue reading Student Discovers Nephite Treasures in Wilk Tunnels

Paul Hollywood
5 Things to Know, Campus

5 Things to Know About BYUSA

It’s our job to know things about BYU, and that we do. But how much do you know? There’s no better place to start than with everyone’s favorite campus organization: BYUSA.   1. It’s There! A common BYUSA misconception is that it doesn’t exist. But after several years of thorough research and one fatal undercover operation, we’ve encountered proof to support the contrary. In fact, … Continue reading 5 Things to Know About BYUSA

Don Cheadle
Campus, Life

LSB Chemical Spill Contaminates Duck Pond, Creates Teenage Mutant Ninja Mallards.

A new genre of semi-aquatic Provo residents just dropped! In a shocking turn of events, a freak accident in the LSB caused a cascade of toxic, possibly radioactive ooze down the slopes surrounding the building. These contaminants found their way towards the beloved south campus duck pond causing a complete (and totally rad!) metamorphosis among some of the local fauna.  When questioned about his involvement, … Continue reading LSB Chemical Spill Contaminates Duck Pond, Creates Teenage Mutant Ninja Mallards.

Paul Hollywood
Campus, Life

Crowded MARB Hallways Force Emergency Classroom Birth

Students across BYU campus are calling for action after a recent emergency birth occurred in the worst building on campus. Jennica Nielson, a returned missionary of 10 months, was in her “Intro to Motherhood” class at  Thomas L. Martin Building (more infamously known as the MARB), when right at 9:49, her water suddenly broke. Her gasp of surprise, along with the subsequent contractions, however, were … Continue reading Crowded MARB Hallways Force Emergency Classroom Birth

Dr. Doof