Category: Campus

Campus, Featured, News

Sales Recruiter Trained by Bene Gesserit Has a Profitable Afternoon

It’s that time of year. Summer sales recruiters are descending on the Cougareat like a plague of charismatic locusts. One Vivint rep has been staggeringly successful. In a single day, Brosh Duncan managed to convince two thousand freshmen to spend their summers hawking solar panels. “There’s something really believable about Brosh,” says Tyler Bowman, a recent recruit. “He’s such a cool guy!” However, there’s more … Continue reading Sales Recruiter Trained by Bene Gesserit Has a Profitable Afternoon

Anya Forger
Campus, Featured

War!

Chaos! Mayhem! Utter pandemonium! What began as the most ambitious crossover event of all time has escalated into total war as Heritage and Helaman Halls march into battle over the forbidden romance of Lake Monson and Nova McCapuleight. Our journalists braved both sides of the battlefield to bring you the latest news regarding the disarray covering the northern portion of campus. “Mobilize Merrill and Stover … Continue reading War!

Don Cheadle
Campus

“Knights of the Y” Conduct Successful Campus Takeover

The BYUSA Elections may have been last week, but now, there’s no doubt who’s in charge. The Knights of the Y, a campus organization known for its Tuesday night Live Action Roleplaying (or LARPing) began their takeover Monday evening after classes. According to eyewitnesses, the surprisingly large coalition of students, wielding foam swords, shields, and spears, marched from the Wilkinson Student Center towards the Abraham … Continue reading “Knights of the Y” Conduct Successful Campus Takeover

Dr. Doof1 Comment
Campus, Featured

Campus-Crossed Lovers: Helaman Resident Falls for Heritage Resident

Two halls, both alike in indignity, opposite in all aspects save each one’s distaste for the other–on the grounds of northern BYU campus we lay our scene: an unsuspecting freshman of Helaman Halls fallen hopelessly in love with a recent RM now living at Heritage Halls. The unlikely pair met at the recent Starry Night Soiree held at the Heritage Central Building. Helaman native Nova … Continue reading Campus-Crossed Lovers: Helaman Resident Falls for Heritage Resident

Don Cheadle
Campus, Life, News

BYUSA Election undergoes Investigation after suspected Interference by BYUSSR

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George Beard