Here at BYU, students do more than just soak with each other. They also soak up the sun the moment it peeks out of the clouds of Fake Spring. However, the recent death of sophomore Bryce Garrison, 23, has cast a dismal shadow over campus. Garrison’s body was discovered on the lawn near the Joseph Knight Building on Friday by a groundskeeper who noticed he … Continue reading Dead Body Mistaken as Sunbather Goes Unnoticed for Days
The CougarEat was thrown into chaos last week when religious studies major Gordon Jacobsen unexpectedly began flipping tables and attempting to “cast out” the employees of Chick-Fil-A and other establishments. “To defile the Lord’s campus in such a way is nothing short of an affront to God,” said Jacobsen. “Jesus overthrew the seats of those who overcharge for doves in Matthew 21:12. Those who overcharge … Continue reading Misguided Religious Studies Major Flips Tables at the Cougareat
Print Bracket HERE! Continue reading 2025 MARCH MADNESS BRACKET — WHAT’S THE WORST SIN?
Campus conspiracy theorists have been abuzz lately over an unsettling new claim: that BYU’s Learning Suite tool, the staple of the university’s digital education endeavors, now consists solely of a complex network of AI bots. This would render every single interaction on the platform, from discussion boards to assignment feedback, meaningless and artificial, even more than they already were. The theory spawns from a series … Continue reading “Dead Learning Suite Theory” Suggests Everyone On LS Except You is a Bot
And just like that, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has lost another American Idol pretty boy. The news of superstar Benson Boone’s official disassociation with the church has had a profound effect on both the media, and Boone’s Latter Day Saint fanbase. Kimmie White, one such fan explained to Alternate Universe her own feelings about the event: “I just don’t know … Continue reading PLEEEASE STAAAY!: Woman Questions Faith After Benson Boone Leaves Church
